Countries Scramble To Close Borders To Stray Cats

Countries Scramble To Close Borders To Stray Cats

By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama

Three stray cats managed to sneak their way through increased security at the G20 summit in Turkey this week. This security breach has raised some serious questions about just how the cats were able to make it through the increased security, which was at Threat Level: Crimson.

“We should be worried about how these cats were able to tip-toe their way through,” said an anonymous contact within the Obama administration. “They are smart, stealthy, and capable of anything. They could have been suicide cats. There’s no way to know otherwise. We need to take this threat seriously.”

Turkey is known for its large population of stray cats. Last year the country’s energy minister blamed an election-day power outage on a cat who strolled right into a power distribution unit.

World leaders had convened at the summit in Antalya, Turkey, to discuss global issues, including theorizing about strictly hypothetical ways to minimize power of extremist factions.

Camera technician Ben Dranken, who recorded the video of the small group of cats on the G20 stage, gave us his heroic account of the events as they unfolded.

“I looked up and there were pussies everywhere,” said Dranken. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but someone had to document it. So I just kept rolling.”

This security breach has leaders all over the world wondering if something like this could happen on their home soil. Some countries, and even some individual states, have even moved to close their borders to all stray cats of Middle-Eastern descent.

“Who knows what these cats have been through?” said Senator Rob Dapor (R). “We can’t just stand by and let countries across the world ship us their cats! I mean, I’m not sure how they’d even afford to get over here now that I think about it. But the point is, they are not our problem!”

Congressional Representative Claire LeWhite (R) echoed similar sentiments. “I think we can all agree that the last thing we need in this country is more stray cats when we can’t even take care of our own cats.”

Legislation to close borders to stray cats has already been passed in 15 different states.


About the Author

Joanna McClanahan is Editor at Mock Mom. She’s also a Contributor at Sammiches & Psych Meds and has been published on Scary Mommy. You can find more from her on, Facebook, TwitterPinterest, and Instagram.