I think we can all agree that 2016 has been a craptastic year. Things went from bad, to worse, to are you fucking kidding me? Here are the top 16 garbage events fueling the shitstorm that was 2016. 16. Flint, Michigan Water Crisis Nearly 12,000 children in Flint, Michigan have […]
Author: Nikki Morris
The ‘Flip or Flop’ Divorce in 16 HGTV Puns
HGTV’s Tarek and Christina El Moussa have been gracing our television screens with their hit show, Flip or Flop, for six seasons, leaving us with such questions as: What the hell do Californians do for a living in order to afford those insane mortgages? Where can I get one of […]
Hipsters are Beard-Dazzling Themselves with Twinkle Lights for Christmas
A market stand in London has turned hipster beards into twinkling upside-down Christmas trees. The good people of East Village E20–who host the annual Christmas Maker’s Market in London–have decided to “improve” upon the already ridiculous beard-dazzling of Noels past (I’m looking at you beard bobbles and goatee glitter). The […]
This Korean Sculpture of Jesus Is Making the World LOL
Christians in South Korea are displaying a statue of Jesus that is making the world giggle. As you can see, Korean Jesus is juiced. Now, if you are the type of holier-than-thou who likes to get your pantaloons in a wad, maybe you should get off the internet and get back to your […]
“Baby It’s Cold Outside” Gets the Consent Makeover It Needs
We’ve all been there: You hop in your car on a frosty December morning and switch on the Christmas station, hoping to accessorize your peppermint mocha with the perfect holiday tune when… NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! “Baby It’s Cold Outside” assaults the airways. Not since you heard the 342nd parumpapumpum in The Little […]
These People Are Gearing Up for the World’s Okayest Christmas
A couple of years ago, I was invited to a mommy group’s Christmas cookie exchange where the host required attendees to bring recipes made from scratch. She even recommended we each create a Pinterest board for inspiration. I’m sorry, but the only thing that ever inspires my December baking is Pepperidge […]
A Tearful Ellen DeGeneres Receives White House Medal of Freedom
Ellen DeGeneres received the White House Medal of Freedom yesterday, the highest honor bestowed on a civilian in our nation. President Obama stood by her side while she welled up with tears as she heard the following praise: In a career spanning three decades, Ellen DeGeneres has lifted our spirits […]
Holy 1990s, Batman, Brown Lipstick Is Back
The year was 1995. I was a sophomore in high school, doing my best to turn my freckled face into something presentable for the winter formal. My go-to cosmetics? Green Wet-N-Wild eyeliner, peach blush, and hideous brown lipstick. Looking back at the photos of myself from 1995, I cringe a […]