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The ‘Flip or Flop’ Divorce in 16 HGTV Puns

Photo Credit: HGTV

HGTV’s Tarek and Christina El Moussa have been gracing our television screens with their hit show, Flip or Flop, for six seasons, leaving us with such questions as:

What the hell do Californians do for a living in order to afford those insane mortgages?

Where can I get one of those cryogenic face-freezing machines that Christina must be using to keep herself eternally 25?

Are they able to tell Jonathan and Drew Scott apart at network events?

Do you think Tarek has had to assure people his name isn’t “Derek” upon first introductions his entire life?

And now…

Does love really last?

We ponder the last question this week because the adorable couple has announced their separation.

I’m not judging the El Moussas. Marriage is difficult. It is two imperfect people sharing everything–from their money to their bodies to their hopes for the future–and then trying to get along for the rest of their lives, despite inevitable differences of opinion. I am a huge fan of Tarek and Christina¬†and will continue to chain-watch their show as long as they’re on the air.

Please understand I am not making fun of the El Moussas with this post. I just love me some HGTV (and some puns). That being said, here is the Flip or Flop divorce in 16 HGTV puns.

1. What the shiplap happened? I thought Tarek and Christina were so in love?

2. Maybe he was taking her for granite.

3. Or perhaps she was making him feel (base)bored.

4. Now they’ve gone and disMantled their marriage.

5. I guess the French doors are closed on that relationship.

6. They are reportedly dating other people. I’m happy for Tarek; after all, no man is a kitchen island.

7. But if it doesn’t work out in their new relationships, I’d like to Fixer Upper with my brother.

8. I guess they had some skeletons in their walk-in closet.

9. DIY-didn’t we see this coming?

10. Maybe she’ll take him backsplash?

11. Unless her heart is made of stainless steel…

12. …and she’s put her clawfoot down.

13. I wonder if they’ll get copper joint custody of the kids.

14. They should ask the community Property Brothers for advice.

15. We’ll have to color swatch what happens.

16. Sometimes life is just hardwood.

We love you, Tarek and Christina! Keep on keeping on, because even on your worst days, you are still 100 times better than this lame pun list.