By now you’ve seen the hate-rant making its way around the internet from Vlogger, The Activist Mommy. In her latest video, she calls for Teen Vogue to be banned from shelves because it is informing its readers about sex. While it’s a shame to give this scarecrow-headed town crier any more press than she deserves, I…
A Friend Complimented Lilly Collins for Her ‘Anorexic’ Body and This Is What She SHOULD Have Said Instead
For her role in the Netflix movie “To the Bone,” actress Lilly Collins had to lose a significant amount of weight from her already-thin frame. The starlet, who has been open about her history with eating disorders, signed on to the film in order to shed light on the private struggles people suffering from anorexia…
7 More Time Magazine Covers In Addition to Trump’s Fake You Didn’t Know Existed
The internet is all abuzz today after Donald Trump got busted for having fake Time Magazine covers of himself displayed at his golf courses. Um, yeah. We’re totally not surprised by this. If it walks like a narcissist and talks like a narcissist and grabs pussy like a narcissist–you know the rest. But here’s something that is…
Charmin Made a Public Poop-Mobile and We Have So Many Thoughts
Code Brown, everyone, the shit has hit the fan(belt). Popular toilet paper company, Charmin, has been traveling around NYC today with “Van-Go” (because I guess the name “Dump Truck” was taken). It’s a portable bathroom that encourages users to defecate inside it. But don’t think you can just hail the Van-Go like an NYC taxicab. Oh no….
Mattel Introduces Manbun Ken and Oh God, I Hate Him So Much Already
This just in! Mattel has announced it will soon be selling 15 updated versions of Barbie’s boyfriend, Ken. The new line of dolls will introduce a more diverse collection of fellas to include various skin tones and body types. All this to go along with the updated adaptation Barbie has undergone in recent months. I’m all for…
Is a TV Network Capable of Sexual Assault? This Bachelor Fan Says Yes
Mondays are hard. That’s why millions of us tune into mindless shows like Bachelor in Paradise to wash away our Monday Blues. If you don’t know about Bachelor in Paradise, congratulations–you have lived a smut-free existence thus far. Allow me to enlighten you. Bachelor in Paradise (or BIP for short) is a spin-off of junk…
White Jesus Joins Mormon Couple’s Engagement Photos and the Internet Comments Are Everything
Kelsy Barrett of Utah owns Lightweave Photography, a Mormon company specializing in photographing White Jesus as a prop in family portraits. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest Lightweave could have given Jesus a light weave to make him more believable (and be-weavable–sorry, I couldn’t help myself). Caucasian Jesus, who seems to be…
Tainted Buffet Leads To On-Stage Diarrhea Fest at Jacksonville Strip Club
This just in–A Jacksonville strip club relived the barfing scene in Stand By Me, except with projectile diarrhea. So here’s the poop scoop: On Friday, a Jacksonville strip club was offering a free buffet, from which both dancers and patrons filled themselves with ribs, chicken, and deep-fried shrimp, because of course. That’s when all hole…
Move Over, Joe-Bama, There’s a New Bromance in Town
Guys, I love me some Joe Biden/Barak Obama bromance memes. I miss those two so much. It has been a strange and difficult political year. First the alt-right UKIP party led Great Britain into Brexit, then Donald Trump became the US president, and then humanity collectively sighed, “What the actual fuck is happening right now?” But…
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