By MockMom

Elliot Warren is a man of the people. His entire strategy is built around “having a plan for that” and he backs it up. And he actually gets credit for those plans, since he’s a dude.

He has the experience and resume for the job, has proven his ability to win elections, and offers a detailed and plausible approach to governing. Most importantly, did we mention he has a cock and balls?

Maybe even better than what our guy-we’d-like-to-have-a-beer-with Elliot has is what he DOESN’T have (a vagina, for example):

He has never in his entire life been accused of “tone policing himself.”

His “likeability” is never even a question. After all, what’s there about an assertive man that’s NOT to like?

His outspokenness is an asset. No one would ever refer to him as aggressive, an angry cunt, Bitchy McBitcherson, or “clearly PMSing.”

No one has ever once wondered why he made the salary he did as a Harvard law professor.

He’s not constantly compared to THAT OTHER MAN from 2016 who lost the electoral vote to Trump. (Who won the popular vote by more than 3 million votes.)

His integrity is never questioned. He’s definitely never received death threats or had to deal with #WarrenIsASnake or #NastyWoman trending on social media.

No one ever questioned his ability to receive money from PACs. Instead, he gets credit for his plans to overhaul the system so that future candidates won’t need them moving forward.

He’s never had to worry about the media shutting him out, or “conveniently forgetting” to include him in national polls.

He never has to fight to be included at the table, or for the right to be merely seen, let alone take up space.

It must be nice to be “allowed” to be angry at the current state of affairs. Imagine if Bernie were a woman.

Warren is the right choice for president, but it wouldn’t be the first time our country fucked that right up.