By Jillian Pretzel It’s a warm afternoon and I’m feeling hot. So hot, in fact, that I know I had to have it right then: frozen yogurt. I need to have that plain tart flavor in my mouth, those curves of smooth goodness, covered with ripe blueberries and smothered in […]
Tag: pregnancy humor
Florida Hospital Sets Guinness World Record for Terrible Question Asking
As Stephanie was delivering her placenta, a nurse looked at her with a wide smile and asked, “So, when are you guys thinking about baby #2?”
Cool Tricks I Can Do with My Postpartum Body
By Ingrid Podwil Lately, there’s been a lot of great postpartum body positivity circulating the internet, like Meghan Markle not hiding her post-baby bump in her portrait with Prince Harry and their son Archie. I thought I’d add some neat tricks to the pile of postpartum positivity. 1. All my […]
So You’re Thinking of Giving Your Seat to That Pregnant Woman on the Train…
Maybe she’s just wearing a puffy coat. You’d be insulting her if you offered your seat and it turns out she wasn’t pregnant, but just had a huge breakfast.
9 Things to Do While You Wait to Give Birth
I’m 40 weeks, 5 hours, and 41 minutes pregnant. I’m really pissed off about those last 5 hours and 41 minutes. I needed this baby to arrive on time, if not early, because I’m losing my fucking mind here, people. I’ve been on maternity leave for a week, thinking for […]
My Pregnant Body is Taking Over Your Newsfeed, and I’m Not Sorry
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] So, I’m pregnant. But then you probably knew that, because I’m pretty sure the whole universe knows it, because it’s all I can talk, think, or breathe about right now. I would apologize for this, except I can’t, because I’m too busy being pregnant. Six months […]
Why I Won’t Answer the Question “Boy or Girl?”
I’m standing in one of the baby aisles at Target looking for daddy-themed onesies. Our first kiddo is due soon, and I thought it would be cute to prematurely celebrate Dad’s Day. We don’t know the biological sex of our first child yet, and we won’t know our child’s gender […]
10 Things You Can’t Do in Public While Pregnant (But Totally Want To)
When you’re pregnant, there are myriad things you wish you could just up and do no matter where you are and whom you’re with — things you probably do in the privacy of your own home without reserve. The thing is, you can’t in public. I mean, you could, but […]