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Dr. Mom

I Won’t Apologize for Posting About My Run on Social Media

February 14, 2016 By Dr. Mom

My posts may make you feel like shit, but remember: they're not about YOU.

I’m one of those people on your Facebook feed. The one who posts about her awesome workout, checks in at the Y, or lets you know she ran ten miles with the jogging stroller at an 8 minute pace (just kidding, I’ve never done that; that’s fucking impossible). You might see posts from these people and think “shutthefuckup about your […]

Filed Under: Health, Humor Tagged With: exercise, humor, Life, Parenting, running, social media

Dear Brand New Mama: I Feel Your Joy and See Your Tears

January 17, 2016 By Dr. Mom

Dear brand new mama: I know the road is tough. But it's well worth the sleepless nights.

Dear Brand New Mama, I see you crying on your bed while you listen to your baby scream in the next room as Daddy (or Grandma, or Auntie, or your best friend) takes a turn. You’ve been banished by well-meaning family, told to “go take a nap” (because you obviously need one), but the screams […]

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: babies, breastfeeding, Life, motherhood, newborns, Parenting

9 Things to Do While You Wait to Give Birth

December 28, 2015 By Dr. Mom

Because at this point it feels like you will be pregnant forever.

I’m 40 weeks, 5 hours, and 41 minutes pregnant. I’m really pissed off about those last 5 hours and 41 minutes. I needed this baby to arrive on time, if not early, because I’m losing my fucking mind here, people. I’ve been on maternity leave for a week, thinking for sure this kid would at […]

Filed Under: Humor, Parenting Tagged With: humor, Life, marriage, pregnancy humor, pregnancy sarcasm

My Pregnant Body is Taking Over Your Newsfeed, and I’m Not Sorry

August 10, 2015 By Dr. Mom

[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] So, I’m pregnant. But then you probably knew that, because I’m pretty sure the whole universe knows it, because it’s all I can talk, think, or breathe about right now. I would apologize for this, except I can’t, because I’m too busy being pregnant. Six months pregnant with stretched out belly […]

Filed Under: Health, Parenting Tagged With: feminism, pregnancy, pregnancy comments to avoid, pregnancy humor, pregnancy sarcasm

Why I Won’t Answer the Question “Boy or Girl?”

July 16, 2015 By Dr. Mom

When you're pregnant, the question, "Boy or girl?" is about as common as, "When are you due?" But here's why this writer won't be answering that question any time soon.

I’m standing in one of the baby aisles at Target looking for daddy-themed onesies. Our first kiddo is due soon, and I thought it would be cute to prematurely celebrate Dad’s Day. We don’t know the biological sex of our first child yet, and we won’t know our child’s gender identity for a while, so […]

Filed Under: Parenting, Politics/Community, SPM19 Tagged With: gender, Parenting, politics, pregnancy humor, pregnancy sarcasm

7 Early Pregnancy Symptoms No One Tells You About

June 1, 2015 By Dr. Mom

5 Early Pregnancy Symptoms No One Tells You About

  It’s been a while since I’ve been able to write. That’s because I’ve been a little preoccupied — I moved into a new house and have been buried in boxes, and oh yeah, I’m pregnant. Thirteen weeks, to be exact, and I’m already sporting a belly. This should be interesting. Let’s talk about some of […]

Filed Under: Humor, Parenting

5 Things that are Awesome about Turning 30

February 6, 2015 By Dr. Mom

It’s my birthday. I’m 30. Shit. I know what you’re thinking. These days, 30 is not a big deal. 30 is young. Plenty of 30-somethings still don’t have kids (though I don’t seem to be friends with many of them). Plenty of 30-somethings still go out and party (though not past about 9:00, because we […]

Filed Under: Health, Humor, Life Tagged With: age, birthday, pregnancy humor, pregnancy sarcasm

4 Reasons Why Marriage Is Disgusting and That’s a Good Thing

February 2, 2015 By Dr. Mom

The other morning around 5 am, I was about to get under the covers after getting up to pee (without shutting the door). As I began to crawl into the comfortably warm bed, my husband let out a long, drawn-out, high-pitched fart. Now maybe the more refined ladies among you would have scolded your spouse […]

Filed Under: Health, Humor, Life Tagged With: marriage, marriage humor

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