By Shya Gibbons
We only have three more months left of the year 2020. I know three months sounds like a short amount of time, but in 2020, time stretches on forever. One month in 2020 time is equivalent to 17 years of regular time. Or is it 170 years? I can’t remember for sure. One thing I can say with absolute confidence is 2020 has ruined a large portion of good things including, but not limited to, the following:
Nothing, and I mean nothing, can compare to our current, literal reality. Every time an absurd headline pops up, I always think, “surely this has to be satire.” Spoiler alert: it never is anymore.
A person being placed into an important role, someone who has literal lives in their hands, believes demons are out here knocking everyone up. Said person also does not believe in abortion. What are people supposed to do now? Give birth to this half-demon, half-human baby? Will the politicians backing her up pass laws to distribute funds to the unlucky women who have to take care of the evil spawn? The odds of them passing a law to help the aforementioned struggling mothers has the same percentage as a woman being impregnated by a demon, which is zero percent.
2. The Handmaid’s Tale.
The Handmaid’s Tale is a show based upon a book written by Margaret Atwood. The book is about a society run by a fundamentalist regime where the only people in charge are men and women have no rights. Women are good for one of three things in this society: being a forced surrogate for the wives of powerful men, cooking/cleaning, and some unlucky women, usually those who are not able to be of use in the first two categories, are forced to work in The Colonies; it is a toxic wasteland of a place with enough toxins to kill the workers- but slowly kill them. I mean, what good is it if they do not find a different way to make people suffer?
This show, and the book it was based on, are brilliant works of art. It was a show I looked forward to binge-watching when each new season was released. Now? Forget it. There is no point in watching what is essentially becoming a blueprint for where we are heading as a society.
The women portrayed are not allowed to vote (the whole ‘only men should vote for the household’ outlook is making a surprising comeback lately.) In the show, people are desperately finding ways to flee with their families in hopes of crossing over the border to get into Canada and seek asylum. In our current reality, Canada is not allowing Americans to cross the border. A few brave souls have tried to escape across said border, but they were caught and sent back to the good ol’ U.S. of A.
Who knows. Maybe all of this is a stretch. Maybe my sheer exhaustion has caught up with me and I’m losing my mind. Maybe this is just me praying it does not happen because I only have one ovary left and a bad back, which means I’m useless to them. Go directly to The Colonies. Do not cross the border. Do not collect any benefits because you are a woman and have no benefits to collect.
Life used to be divided into two categories of people: those who view the glass half-full and those who view the glass half-empty. Now everyone has chugged their drink because time is fleeting, nothing is guaranteed in the next minute, and God only knows when you will get the chance to get any sort of liquid in your cup again.
Do you remember the board game Sorry? The concept is simple: get your colored pawns to their corresponding home base. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? Wrong. Your objective is to get your piece back home while the other player’s objective is to knock your piece down when it makes progress moving forward all while exclaiming a condescending ‘Sorry.’
We are the pawns trying to make it to home base while 2020 is in charge of knocking us back to the start all while pretending to be “sorry.” Oh, you were only one step away from retiring? Sorry, your pension was wiped out. Oh, you almost had equal rights to everyone else? Oof. This one has to sting, but sorry, back to square one you go. Better luck next time. Buh-bye!
There are countless more examples of things the year 2020 has ruined, but if I have learned anything this year, it is to not count the power of this year out. Do not, under any circumstances, think “things can’t get any worse” because 2020 is like the douchebag frat guy hammered off Natty Light who takes everything as a challenge. A challenge they will win at any cost, by any means necessary.
Good luck to you all. May the odds be ever in your favor.
About the Author
Shya Gibbons is founder of Vintage Dreams With A Modern Twist. She is a contributor to the books I Just Want To Be Perfect and You Do You. Her work has appeared on Sammiches & Psych Meds, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and The Mighty. She is happily married to an incredible man who doubles as her best friend. They have a seven-year-old little boy who lights up their life. Check out her work at www.facebook.com/VintageDreamsWithAModernTwist. Tell her hi when you stop by, she loves meeting new people!