Remember when you couldn’t wait to move out and live on your own? Do whatever you want? When you want? Yeah, me too. And then it actually happened. And suddenly there were bills to pay, a house to clean, and meals to make, and any fantasies you may have been harboring about adulthood were quickly shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
While some kids are gently pushed out of the nest with a full arsenal of life skills, others plunge to the ground headfirst through a raging inferno. It’s baptism by fire, baby.
Sorta like this kid. The unnamed cousin of Twitter user, Henpecked Hal. From the sounds of it, the 20-year-old cousin just got his own apartment and so far? It seems to be going *ahem* super well. Haha. Not really.
Hal posted the following screenshot of a text convo between himself and his cousin, where his cousin is seeking some cooking advice. And I gotta say, “Hey, at least he’s eating something other than Kraft Dinner!”
Take a look.
My 20 year old cousin got his own apartment and it's going pretty well pic.twitter.com/SaPSogpo0r
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 8, 2020
Let’s take a moment to dissect this, shall we?
20-year-old starts the convo with:
“hey, man, I’d ask my mom but I don’t want to talk for an hr…how often do you clean your oven”
First of all, I totally get not wanting to call his mom about his little problem. I mean, moms are seriously the best, but sometimes you just need a quick answer and not an encyclopedic discourse on all.the.things, you know?
Hal’s response of “pretty much never,” is basically all of us.
Except for his cousin. Because he’s cleaning his oven every single time he uses it, apparently. And he’s starting to feel like cooking just isn’t worth it.
It totally isn’t.
But the REASON behind why he’s constantly cleaning it is where the true magic lies in this whole cooking conundrum. He tells Hal:
“yeah the bottom gets gross and full of blood and grease.”
Um, okay?
Hal decides to investigate this a little further, so he asks:
“You’re talking about the baking sheet or the actual oven?”
And here, my friends, is where the story takes an unexpected turn.
“baking sheet?”
“my oven has the metal grills on the inside”
Whelp.
It is at this point that Hal needs to take a little break, likely to compose himself from laughing hysterically.
He texts back:
“One sec…I need a beer for this”
SAME Hal, SAME.
Just to clarify what he believes to be already true he begs the question:
“So you’re putting the meat directly onto the grills to cook, right?”
To which his cousin responds:
“yea to grill it.”
Oh, poppet. Might I suggest a BBQ?
In true loving family fashion, Hal does what any of us would do at this point.
“I’m tweeting this.”
And his poor, dear cousin? Still doesn’t get it, as evidenced by his one symbol response:
“?”
Aw, bless.
The tweet has received over 1.1 MILLION likes and has been re-tweeted over 143K times. Most people found the humor in the baking debacle, responding with various laughing GIFS. Others, however, decided now was the perfect time to share their own tales of cooking fails.
Well, mostly their friends’ failures. Because what are friends for?
https://twitter.com/sierrakyy/status/1314406460475011072
That reminds me of this oldie but goody pic.twitter.com/dYASNGHEik
— Allison Bea (@thebii) October 9, 2020
Just because you’re a son or daughter, doesn’t mean you’re safe. All’s fair in love and kitchen fails.
https://twitter.com/freshmeximelt/status/1314369661119557632?s=20
I left my son home with a friend with soup ready for a quick reheat in the microwave for dinner. Son: the microwave won’t start Me: hit cancel, punch 45 then start Son: there’s no cancel button Me: bottom right corner Son: there’s no cancel button Me: send me a pic Son: pic.twitter.com/SbxvMJhTkw
— Brian Manning (@briandmanning) October 9, 2020
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However, it’s not just in the kitchen where our kids need a little guidance. It’s a whole ‘nother world out there.
My son ran out of gas twice in a few months. Rather than call for roadside assistance I picked him up to show him how to get gas for his car. Stopped at Target and told him to pick up a gas can. He said: we have a problem. Me: what? Him: they’re all empty. 🤔
— Karol Franks (@okarol) October 9, 2020
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A friend of mine was helping her 20 year old stepson move out of his apartment. She noticed a pile of dirty underpants in the corner and said ‘what are you going to do with those?’ His reply: ‘Nothing. They were there when I moved in.’
— Patrick or Treat (@WoodburnPaddy) October 9, 2020
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That reminds me of a gross story from my university house.
I lived with 5 guys and our shared kitchen was disgusting. They had all been using a sock as an oven mitt for months and months. When it was time to move out I discovered that no-one knew where the sock came from. 🤮— Neil Richards (@jetpacmagazine) October 9, 2020
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Clearly, Hal’s cousin isn’t alone. There’s also this guy. Who is Hal’s cousin’s spirit animal, apparently.
Is it sad that I actually don’t get what he is doing wrong?
— Prabesh Paudel (@thatdudeprabesh) October 9, 2020
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It’s a little sad Prabesh.
And then there’s sweet Anna C. who just wants to make sure that Hal’s cousin is okay.
Please make sure he knows to remove lint from the drier. Now I’m all worried about this poor lad.
— Anna C (@AnnaCinWV) October 8, 2020
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Don’t worry Anna, Hal has his back. He’s supporting his cousin in the best possible way. With this:
Y’all win. Christmas is coming early for my cousin. pic.twitter.com/5zJGYcLZly
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 12, 2020
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After all, what is family for?