By Jorrie Varney of Close to Classy
A local mother was hospitalized earlier this week after becoming lodged in the chimney of her family’s Indiana home.
Miranda Scott wanted nothing more than to bring joy to her children when she purchased an Elf on the Shelf. The introduction of the family’s elf was everything she hoped it would be. The kids squealed with delight when they discovered their elf perched on the mantle that first morning. After a considerable amount of arguing, the children settled on a name, dubbing him “Rambo the Christmas Elf.”
Each morning Scott’s children would spring from their beds, eager to find Rambo in a new and exciting location. But after a while the children grew bored with his simple relocation.
“Bobby Miller said his elf made a snow angel in powdered sugar. Why doesn’t Rambo ever do anything like that?” whined Lucy, Scott’s youngest child.
Scott knew she would need to up her elf game if she wanted to continue impressing her three young children.
It started with powdered sugar snow angels and marshmallow bubble baths, but escalated quickly. Before long, Scott was spending hours constructing candy cane zip-lines and gumdrop igloos, each night, an elfish display more elaborate than the last, until the fateful night that landed Scott in the hospital.
As the Elf on the Shelf story goes, each night the scout elf returns to the North Pole to report the day’s behavior to Santa before arriving back to the house, in a new location, the next morning.
Never one to disappoint, Scott began working off her most elaborate plan yet—Rambo the Christmas Elf would be making his return from the North Pole via the family’s chimney, just like Santa. Only he would do it right in front of the kids!
Her plan was to hide in the chimney and send Rambo through the chute, guided by clear fishing line to keep him on track. He would burst into the room with an explosion of glitter just as the children entered the living room, making it appear as though he just returned from his trip to the North Pole.
Scott set her alarm extra early that morning. She scaled the family’s home and made her way across the frost-covered roof. Leveraging herself against the sides of the chimney, she began her descent down the shaft.
“I had my feet against one side of the chimney and my back against the other, but after a few feet, I slipped,” Scott recounted.
Scott was wedged inside the chimney. “I kinda just folded in half like a taco and got stuck there.”
She was unable to yell for help, her screams muffled by her own knees. Scott was in the chimney for two hours before her family realized she was missing. When the children called their father at work, he knew exactly where to look.
“Miranda told me about this chimney thing a few nights ago; I told her it was a bad idea. Like that time she took in those baby raccoons and one of them bit Lucy…the whole family had to get rabies shots. It was a damned mess!” said Scott’s husband, Jeremy.
Scott was extricated from the chimney by the local fire department. She suffered only minor cuts and bruises from her entrapment, but further medical care was required after it was discovered a family of bats had made its home in the unused chimney and Scott was the victim of several nasty bites.
When Scott’s children saw her pulled from the chimney, covered in glitter, with elf in hand, the jig was up. The Christmas magic was dead.
“Noooooo! YOU TOUCHED THE ELF!” wailed Lucy.
The children were quickly ushered away from the grisly scene and are said to be staying with family. Scott is listed in stable condition and is expected to be home in time for Christmas.
No information has been released about Rambo’s condition.
About the Author
Jorrie of Close to Classy is a working mom of two whose parenting style can best be described as Roseanne meets Mary Poppins. She aspires to own furniture without stains and enjoy a shower without an audience. Her writing has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia, Sammiches and Psych Meds, and Mamalode. She is also a regular contributor for Urban Mommies. You can follow her antics on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.