Humor SPM/MM Tweets

Hilarious Tweets About the Art of Driving

Remember being a kid and getting so excited for the grownup shit  like driving?

I recall thinking that driving was about as adulty as a person could get. Driving meant freedom. Going where you pleased – fast – and without having to bump thighs with a stranger (hello, public transportation!).

Then you get older, and unless you’re one of these Fast and Furious types, you see that driving is about as mundane as it gets. Just another place to stifle your tears as adulthood slowly eats away at your sanity and will to live. And that’s if you’re alone. If you have your family in the car, you’re simply one high-pitched wail away from accidentally hitting the wrong pedal and slamming into a dumpster. Kidding, your car IS the dumpster. Adulthood is freedom, indeed.

Are you ever truly alone when you drive, though? Even when you have the car to yourself, chances are you’re surrounded by a whole host of other asshats, cramped in their own vehicles, also trying not to cry and doing dumb shit like forgetting to use their turn signals. I DON’T READ MINDS TOYOTA GREG, HELP A SIS OUT.

At least it’s a place to sit and listen to your music as loud as you want. Lord knows our kids won’t let us sit in peace at home.

Here’s what the funny parents of Twitter have to say about driving.

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Sorcerers, the whole lot of them!

This should come standard, to be honest.

It’s lit, y’all.

If we’re driving it’s to the beat of MY drum.

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Oh, don’t mind me, that was just the Nickelback swerve.

Peace, Love, and Light are not rules of the road; sorry, pal.

This is a society, ok, you can’t be a dick and expect to go about unscathed.

In the house or on the road – silence is terrifying.

And God help us if they do.

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It’s ok, GPS, nobody listens to me either.

Team “duct tape your kids’ mouths shut on the road”

I gotta meet it somewhere, honey, I am FULL of rage.

When I’m driving his options are STFU or get out of the car

It’s dangerous and intoxicating, help!

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Looks like your kids aren’t the only ones driving you crazy, amirite?

Don’t forget the rules of the road- hit that share button to drive your friends to LOL-town as well.