Before kids, we pictured being the makers of nutritionally balanced homemade meals and the ever-patient mothers of spotless, laughing cherubs. We daydreamed about the pitter-patter of little feet, sweet kisses, and tiny voices calling our names as we dance and frolic in a meadow while wearing flowy white dresses and flower crowns. Then labor day happened (the kind where you don’t get the day off) and we found ourselves smack dab in the center of the epic shit show that is parenthood.
If you find yourself flipping off your kids behind their backs, cursing under your breath, and losing your shit day after day, this meme roundup is for you. Tell that bitch mom guilt you’ll see her at 2am, but right now you’ve got a date to commiserate with the funny parents behind these hilarious parenting memes.
I know, I know, it’s terrible. But when you think about it, the root of all your stress is your screaming kids who won’t quit using your nipples as targets with their Nerf darts.
2. Help me, I’m poor
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It was him or the pint of Ben & Jerry’s and Momma’s had a rough day.
3. I didn’t sign up for this
You could have started getting your kids ready to leave the house a week ago and still be late for everything because little Alice insists on doing everything herself like a “big girl.”
4. Say “bye-bye” to the birdie!
Royals aren’t even a match for the wrath of a toddler. I don’t know about you but I need a little more coffee in my Bailey’s.
5. Not even a little
And so help me, if one of you comes down asking for water, I will levitate off of this couch with rage.
I love you with every fiber of my being. Also, Mommy is going to slow the car down to 5mph once we get to the school. Tuck and roll. TUCK and ROLL.
7. The original mumble rap
Don’t worry, kids, Mommy’s just on the verge of her daily mental breakdown at 4pm sharp.
8. My kind of bedtime story
And don’t talk, either. The monsters are blind, which made them hyper sensitive to noise, which is how they find you.
The only thing worse than an angry mom is a hangry mom.
10. Welcome to hell!
When you realized you’ve been suckered in to the biggest prank of all time.
11. RIGHT up your alley
Privacy is a thing of folklore now. Like unicorns, mermaids, and your sex life.
12. Sleeping children > sleeping husband
Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, if you fall asleep in the middle of the day I swear to God I will make death come with the swiftness.
13. I will join your MLM all day for this
I want to rub this in all of the places. ALL of the places.
14. Oh, you doooooo?
A thing I like to make from scratch is blind rage. How’s that sound, Jimmy?
15. Oh, I’ll tell you a story
This is a classic read in my house.
16. Oh no you di-in’t
To be captioned with the next meme…
I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it but preferably not the way you entered because omg ouch.
18. Those were the days…
We made some questionable choices but they all sound better than trying to parent without caffeine.
19. How do you food?
Omg, what do you want? A plate of Cheerios with some ketchup? Ugh…
20. Despite all my rage
I am still a mom who now knows she needs to trim her child’s toenail because it’s an inch-deep in my butt crack.
21. I think we need a break
This is every mother and her child by noon.
22. 4. I have 4
You don’t want any of this fruit medley. Bet.
23. Not ever
Come at me, Martha.
We’re in it together, sis.
25. I feel better
Who’s a super mom? We are!
26. Check yourself
Just let me live!
27. Rest in peace
In Heaven, your children eat whatever you make for dinner, leave you alone when you go to the bathroom, and there’s not a whistle or kazoo in sight.
28. What is life?
Breathe, Mama, breathe.
29. Whoever put the “good” in “good morning” was not a parent
A smut novel where a mom gets to sleep in for a whole week.
This will be me next week after Spring Break is over. Spring Break used to be a time to wear your skimpiest bikini and hang out at the beach with an alcoholic beverage in hand, but now it’s trying to cram outings and activities for your kids into their day only for them to yell they’re bored the second you sit down and act as their live-in snack hoe.
If these memes gave you the giggles, don’t forget to hit that share button to introduce a bit of laughter to a fellow parent in need of some comic relief. Which meme was your favorite?