When you are a parent, inconvenience is a regular part of the chaos-ridden shitshow that your life has become. Add in a little responsibility and obligation, and you end up with a perfect trifecta of parental fuckery. Congratulations! Whether it be late night feedings, meetings with the school or unexpected illness, there’s always something hiding around the corner, ready to pop out and ruin your best laid plans.
However, some of the inconvenience we experience as parents is completely and totally self-inflicted. Case in point: sports.
Children by nature are wound-up, vibrating little sacks of cuteness and kinetic energy. Sports are a great way to help them burn off this energy without sacrificing your breakables or your sanity. But don’t be fooled — there will be sacrifice! Whether it be time, money or simply your comfort as you’re forced to interact with other parents at some ungodly hour on a Saturday morning while being terrorized by inclement weather, there WILL be sacrifice.
So say goodbye to your Saturday sleep-ins and disposable income, and enjoy the following list, a painful glimpse into the masochistic madness that is being a parent of children in sports.
26 Painfully Relatable Tweets About Being a Parent with a Kid in Sports
Me: Our kids are finally at an age where we can sleep in on week-
Youth sports: Let me stop you right there.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 5, 2018
Not sure who needs to hear this but when you go to your kid’s sporting events today make good choices.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 26, 2019
The most difficult part of my youngest breaking his big toe is pretending to be upset over no more Saturday soccer games.
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) April 4, 2018
"Sorry sweetie, you can't play that sport. The uniform is white."
– an older and wiser future me
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) February 11, 2017
My friends and I like to get together, drink beer, and lie about how much we love attending our childrens’ sporting events.
— Josh the Alwrighty (@Tryptofantastic) January 25, 2019
Your child is exponentially more likely to grow up and manage a car wash. Calm down sports parents.
— Radical Jonald (@jojo_ate) September 7, 2018
Sign your kids up for sports so that they can get exercise, and drive-thru for dinner.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 6, 2016
I witnessed a fellow mom get hit in the face with a rogue soccer ball bc she was looking at her phone which is why I'm wearing this helmet.
— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) September 22, 2015
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of a lazy Saturday morning we can panic because a sports uniform didn’t get put in the dryer.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 16, 2019
[little league game]
Me: BOOO, you hack!!
Husband: That’s our child
— kaci sue who (@kacisuewho) February 21, 2019
Sure sex and money are great but has your kid's Saturday soccer game ever been moved from 8am to 4pm?
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) March 2, 2018
I'm coaching my son's soccer team because it's important that he knows I'll swear at other kids, too.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 13, 2015
You don’t realize how many moms in 2007 named their boys Liam until you go to a lacrosse tournament.
— Alison Tedford (@alliespins) February 4, 2018
You can spot a soccer mom by the camp chairs she keeps in the trunk of her SUV.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) April 30, 2018
There are approximately 10 different types of sports parents and I fucking hate 9 of them.
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) March 17, 2018
Sorry we’re late for soccer practice we were getting ready for soccer practice.
— ParlerToddler (@Parler_Toddler) September 7, 2018
Just spent ten minutes of my life cheering on a girls soccer team with identical jerseys as my daughter's.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 9, 2017
Put your kids in sports so you can lie and say the reason you're wearing pajamas is because the game was early and you were running late
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) February 22, 2019
Kids sports: Because weekend plans are stupid.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 20, 2018
Have kids so you can wake up the family at 7 am on Saturdays to go play baseball in the rain.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) May 20, 2017
If you're interested in some light morning cardio, may I suggest putting soccer gear on a toddler?
— Megan Rikas (@MegsHAUSTED) September 9, 2017
"But, I don't want to go to soccer practice today. Can't we just skip it? Please! Just this once?!?"
-me, to my kid
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 23, 2016
Everyone has practice so we can either have dinner at 4:30 or 9:00.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 1, 2017
"Rain, rain, you can stay.
You're getting me out of a soccer game!"
A parent's lullaby.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) April 29, 2017
The funk of forty thousand years, but it’s the unwashed shinguards I forgot about inside my son’s soccer bag.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 5, 2017
My daughter has her first-ever soccer game in the morning and, honestly, I think my proudest moment will be if I get her there on time.
— Megan Rikas (@MegsHAUSTED) September 9, 2017
All joking aside, putting your kids in sports is a great way to encourage teamwork while helping them burn off some of that pesky excess energy. Despite all the early mornings and sacrifice, being a sports parent isn’t all that bad. There are lots of special moments, like watching your child score a goal or round the bases, and it can be very rewarding to watch them have fun and work hard while someone else gets to tell them what to do. You never know, you may even meet another parent to complain with and split carpool duties.
Anything is possible with a little bit of teamwork!