November is best known as the lead-up to Thanksgiving, but this year it gets to be known as that PLUS the eleventy-hundredth month of a pandemic. Soak up that title November, bitch, you earned it!
While Thanksgiving used to be a time to confront relatives you may not like, this year you’re probably getting the chance to lay low a little. We have so many stresses, Thanksgiving barely makes the list. Grateful for being an introvert!
While we white-knuckle grip to the last shreds of our sanity to see what fresh hell awaits us in December, at least we can find some humor from the parents of Twitter. Because as the world burns, they remind us that kids don’t give one single fuck and are an endless source of LOL’s for it.
15 Hilarious Tweets From Parents in November
1. Wait ’til they try a whole one it will BLOW THEIR MINDS!
My Kids’ Top 5 Favorite Thanksgiving Dishes:
1. Half a dinner roll
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 28, 2019
2. If only that were a real button and not just a fantastic parenting strategy.
NETFLIX: are your kids still watching?
ME: [clicks Continue Raising My Children]
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) November 11, 2020
3. AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN SO HELP ME!
Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact with your 5 year old as you throw away their arts and crafts
— Bart (@bartandsoul) November 24, 2020
4. Definitely do not follow this guy if you wanna survive marriage.
when my wife was in labor with our first kid 11 yrs ago I was next to her in the hospital room. with my laptop tending to my farmville crops that needed harvesting. Follow me for more caring husband advice.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 11, 2020
5. So. Old.
You know you're old when your kid has a teacher named McKinsey.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) November 9, 2020
6. Oh, so we’re just forgetting every time you almost burned my eyebrow off with that lit cigarette when you stopped short at a red and I had no seatbelt on, hmm.
My mom just asked me if the yams are organic like she didn’t raise me on penicillin steroid cow meat and food coloring
— Anna Grace (@graceupongracie) November 23, 2017
7. PLEASE AND THANKS!
DOES ANYONE KNOW IF THERE WILL BE ANY BLACK FRIDAY SALES ON COLLEGE TUITION
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 23, 2020
8. Oh yeah baby, give it to me.
Ya I'm DTF
Fuck-ing ignore my adult responsibilities and make them tomorrow me's problem
— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) November 22, 2020
9. LOL just kidding bruh!
10. THIS IS ALWAYS A VALID ANSWER, OK??
Husband: “Why are you always on your phone?”
Me: “Sounds good, I’m starving.”
— Obviously Everyone… (@OMGSoOverIt) November 22, 2020
My kids’ 1st grade teacher just flexed on the students by making them all practice writing: I HAVE NO JOB
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) November 6, 2020
12. Peace almost always wins though.
Parenthood is mostly just weighing whether ignoring the disaster your kids are silently causing is worth the few moments of peace and quiet.
— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 22, 2020
13. Ah fuck it hurts!
One day when my teenager was upset I said "It is what it is," and now he says it to me every time I'm upset and, oh wow, it does not feel good
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) November 10, 2020
14. The whole world seems like an asylum at this point.
Half of us are in pajamas.
Half of us are dressed to the nines.
Staying at home for a pandemic Thanksgiving is a lot like what I imagine a celebration at an asylum to look like.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 26, 2020
15. Coming soon, to a cranium near you!
Me: *putting up Christmas tree and decorations and rage-crafting*
Friend: It's only November…
Me: I'm nesting!
Friend: Omg, congrats, what are you having?
Me: Seasonal depression in 2020.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) November 18, 2020
So Goodbye November!
As this year continues to circle the drain, at least we can have hope that the upcoming turning of the year might usher in some better times. I mean it can’t go on like this forever, can it?
Make sure to share this shit because dopamine is in short supply this year friends. Give a friend the gift of a chuckle or two as the season finale of humanity drags on. Cheers!