Although a family gathering where everyone is drooling over food and spitting as they scream grievances at each other seems like a bad idea in the midst of a global pandemic, the calendar doesn’t lie – Thanksgiving is coming. And much like Halloween and every other traditional event, this year is likely to look a little different.
Nevermind the fact that we’ve been eating for 2 for the better part of a year, and possibly aren’t on speaking terms with our family over political differences. Thanksgiving this year is likely to be a time of brand new traditions because of the increasing numbers of Covid cases and likely new lockdown restrictions. Although this sounds like a stressful thing, try to keep perspective – at least it’s not March, when we were scouring the woods for leaves to wipe our poor asses with.
Now, if there’s one kind thing you could say about the human race, it’s that we’re resilient as fuck. So even though this year might be a little different than what we expected, I’m sure we’ll make sure to fight and eat ourselves sick regardless of whether we can be with our families or not. Life finds a way and all that.
10 Funny Tweets About the Sh*tshow That is Thanksgiving 2020
1. Honestly, at this point in 2020 this sounds like a proper healthy meal – and we’re not even sorry about it.
It’s been a hard year, kids, so Thanksgiving is gonna consist of 5 chicken nuggies and a cup of Ocean Spray each
— ADHDean (@ADHDeanASL) November 17, 2020
2. When in doubt – eat more! This lil’ nugget of pandemic wisdom is still going strong.
Don't get sad about missing Thanksgiving with your extended family, this just means you have to eat more. You've been training for this your whole life.
— Worst Cass Scenario (@WorstCassie) November 17, 2020
3. I mean, it sounds like a solid strategy. At the very least it’s bound to be an intensely emotional experience.
My Thanksgiving plans:
– starving before 4PM
– eating like a Viking at his last meal
– self loathing for the rest of the night
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) November 16, 2020
4. Gnaw on that turkey leg in your Tiger King underoos. Fuck it, there are no more rules.
Have a virtual Thanksgiving so you can experience the joy of overreating without pants on
— Trey (@treydayway) November 15, 2020
5. We used to be cool, and now we just spend our spare time trying to farm a lil’ bit of serotonin from any dumb place we can… Send help.
I bought Christmas shirts today. I’m wearing one right now. It says, “Get Your Jingle On.” It’s not even Thanksgiving. Covid fucking broke me.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 14, 2020
6. It’s a mixed blessing with far less racism and questions about weight.
Downside of Covid: I can’t spend Thanksgiving with my extended family.
Upside of Covid: I can’t spend Thanksgiving with my extended family.
— Janet Forklift (@janetforklift) November 11, 2020
7. The true vaccine for having the sads.
It's 2020, don't need to wait for Thanksgiving…deepthroat a turkey leg immediately
— Trey (@treydayway) November 1, 2020
8. Fuck pants, run into woods, never be found again.
Here’s how I’m finishing out 2020:
✅ Throw Halloween candy at the kids
✅ Chicken cutlets for Thanksgiving
✅ Cancel Christmas
— bubble girl (@JessObsess) October 31, 2020
9. Are you not crying? WTF is wrong with you?
Me *crying*: I'm fine, just chopping onions
Him: that's a carrot
— Moderately Mom (@moderately_mom) October 12, 2020
10. Your mama ain’t wrong though!
My mom said she doesn’t want to celebrate Thanksgiving this year because “we’ve been eating like it’s Thanksgiving everyday since March”
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) November 1, 2020
Make sure to give the gift of laughter by sharing these tweets with your friends and most tolerable loved ones!