Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart, a sentiment that’s especially true in the midst of a pandemic in the month of September. While September is usually known for being the time that you gleefully drop-kick your children onto a bus to get them far, far away from you and back into school, this year the whole back-to-school thing strikes a little different. With many schools moving toward distance or hybrid learning, and many parents choosing to homeschool or tackle their kids education from home, ’tis not the year to soothe your Summer woes by plunking your kid in the school and never looking back.
However, despite what this time of year looks like for your family, know that you aren’t alone in the shitshow that is Fall 2020. Remember back in March when we kept looking forward to the next two weeks and what that would bring? Ahh good times. Now it’s months later and we’re all rattling our cages and wondering what the fuck is life even?!
At least one thing remains consistent and that is the fuckery of parenting. Kids gonna be kids, and life’s gonna be life, so at the very least, we can gather some laughs in the void wasteland that is living in 2020.
15 Hilarious Tweets from Parents in September 2020
1. That anxiety hits different with a lil’ nutmeg.
Call me when they make Pumpkin Spice Xanax.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) September 21, 2020
2. Mmmm talk discounts to me, baby.
Hot soccer dads in your area want to tell you what a good deal they got on their leafblower
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 27, 2020
3. Fuck it. There are no rules.
Eat that sleeve of cookies, drink that bottle of wine, cry by the laundry pile while you eat a block of cheese. It's 2020 you deserve it.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) September 7, 2020
4. But like, no pressure or anything!
Welcome to parenthood where you'll be blessed with a precious child who will depend on you for every little thing which seems overwhelming, but don't worry because you also get to make tons of decisions for them every day & hope those decisions don't ruin them forever & ever.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) September 1, 2020
5. Kids in all their weird glory get to have their moment on the Zoom.
Kid’s Zoom class is so much better than work Zoom meetings. They are all shouting out their 3rd favorite candy, one kid is shining a flashlight up her nose, and another kid is Iron Man.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 11, 2020
6. Asking for a friend- is scooting on the floor low enough to be rock bottom?
My husband was in a virtual meeting but I needed something from the desk next to him, so I slid across the floor on my knees but everyone could see me anyway so they all just went quiet to watch me scooting across the floor on my knees and how is this year not over yet?
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) September 21, 2020
7. Call it an icebreaker.
I brought a dozen donuts to work for my coworkers.
I work from home.
Me. I bought a dozen donuts for me.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 14, 2020
8. Look, at this point we should all be getting medals, because YIKES.
Don’t tell me there’s no superheroes when single parents are holding it together during a pandemic.
— VodkaAndStringCheese (@VodkaAndCheeze) September 19, 2020
9. I wOuLd NeVeR!
Marriage is when your spouse has a stomach ache for two days in a row and asks in all seriousness if you’ve been poisoning him.
— Krysta (@kaL12578) September 19, 2020
10. It’s 2020 so I need the extra time for the existential dread.
11. And yet still, nobody listens…
12. Come on, like this isn’t THE move.
People at the gym keep looking at me like they’ve never seen someone use a treadmill to dry laundry.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 28, 2020
13. Authentic AF, nerdlinger.
Even though we’re homeschooling, I decided that my son should have the same school experience I did. I packed ten pounds of books into his bag, made his lunch, and dropped him several miles away from the house. When he finally made it home, I gave him a wedgie and took his lunch.
— Uncle Duke (@UncleDuke1969) September 28, 2020
14. Just some good clean fun!
My kids in 2020: “We’re bored.”
My brother and I in 1984: “Here. I’ll crawl on my hands and knees like a cat and you try to hit me with a rolled up magazine.”
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) September 18, 2020
15. *Golf claps*
Moms: We are drowning. Help.
Everyone: Wow you’re superhuman!
Moms: What? No. Can you just hel—
Everyone: I don’t know how you do it!
Moms: We’re not. Help us.
Everyone: OMG you’re amazing tho 😍😍😍
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) September 16, 2020
Happy September everyone!
Whatever your day to day looks like, may you get through it with a clear head and a happy heart. And if that fails, then just remember- a little shot of something-something in your morning coffee is a valid form of self care. Bottoms up!