To say this March was a shitshow is a total understatement. We watched the Covid-19 crisis go from wtf to WTF in record time, and many of us have landed in various states of isolation/quarantine as the crisis continues to unfold worldwide. March saw toilet paper depleted, grocery store smackdowns, and terrifying stats about the rapid spread of the novel Covid-19 coronavirus.
Although these things are unprecedented for us, luckily we still have laughs to help us get through. Although it may seem unkind to find humor in dire situations, the truth is that gallows humor can be a legit form of medicine to help ease the pain of a shitty situation.
Due to to these strange times, many of the funniest tweets from March have references to social distancing, isolation, and family quarantine. Additional pain points are school closures creating a scenario where parents need to homeschool, or at the very least simply try and survive until this madness is over.
20 of the Funniest Tweets From Parents in March
1. 6 feet back, bitch!
Me: *sprays her with Lysol*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 5, 2020
2. THE HORROR!
You know, I can handle a quarantine. I can handle rationing food. I can even handle having to relearn elementary math. But did this really have to be the week that my 4 year old learned to tell knock knock jokes?
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) March 18, 2020
8: what day is it? Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday?
— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) March 25, 2020
4. Truth hurts.
The hardest part of parenting is parenting your own traits out of your kids
— VodkaAndStringCheese (@VodkaAndCheeze) March 14, 2020
5. A magical combo.
It's times like these that you find out what people are really made of. And apparently I'm made of wine, cheetohs and anxiety.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) March 25, 2020
6. You quarantine your way, I’ll quarantine my way.
As I sit in isolation for hours, planning to keep a safe distance from my family, I hear them outside the door, shouting words of encouragement.
Like my kids saying, "Make us breakfast!"
And my wife adding, "GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. YOU AREN'T SICK!"
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) March 18, 2020
7. Damn, your teacher needs a medal.
“You can eat 50% of a mermaid before you’re considered a cannibal.”
My kid, using homeschool math during social distancing
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 19, 2020
8. That would be amazing, not gonna lie.
Wake me up when Fauci orders us to keep six feet away from laundry.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 24, 2020
9. Christ Brenda, get it together!
Me: I’m feeling short of breath.
Her: Maybe it’s because you just climbed the stairs after eating an entire party-sized bag of chips?
Me: *rolls eyes* I didn’t put the chips in my lungs, Brenda.
— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) March 22, 2020
10. Just saying, this one’s a dud.
Homeschooling day 1: trying to get this kid transferred out of my class.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 17, 2020
11. A viral hit!
If the Coronavirus gets anymore toxic, it’s going to end up with it’s own show on TLC
— FakeAdultMom (@fakeadultmom) March 24, 2020
12. Wow another day of staying home and watching my kids break things, how unique!
As a parent I’m already used to all fun things being cancelled.
— mark exotic (@TheCatWhisprer) March 11, 2020
13. Toilet paper math is first up in home school math.
We only have 1 roll of toilet paper left in our house but I think we are going to be ok because the wrapper says 1 roll equals 37 rolls.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 7, 2020
14. Crisis brings out the worst in us.
One minute you’re young and fun and the next minute you’re counting how many cans of beans and rolls of toilet paper you have.
— momsbehavingbadly (@badbadmoms) March 14, 2020
15. Just look at us *sobs*
“We’re now a couple that does puzzles together” I mumble to myself as I help my husband find the corner pieces
— Melissa (@Fiveoclockmommy) March 22, 2020
16. It’s definitely mid-week-ish.
Once I start to remember what day it is it’s all over for you bitches
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) March 3, 2020
17. Adulthood is wild, y’all.
“You don’t call the shots around here. I’m a grown-ass woman.”
– me to my kids as I make 4 different dinners
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) March 21, 2020
18. I did NOT sign up for this.
I’ve homeschooled my kids for 1 day and I’ve already learned so much, like their teachers need a huge raise and also I should never ever be a teacher.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 16, 2020
19. Big home school energy.
Kid: You’re my bestest friend, Mom.
Me: *eyes well up with tears* Bestest isn’t a word.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 6, 2020
20. Look, quarantine is bringing out the worst of us all.
Therapist: How do you respond to your daughter when she’s having a tantrum?
Me: Stay mad, hoe.
— Mommy Uncensored (@amomuncensored) March 6, 2020
Let’s all raise a glass to April and hope for better days ahead!
In the meantime, stay calm, realize you can’t do it ALL, and try your best not to kill your spouse/family!