Just when I think my WTFs couldn’t get any WTF-ier, I learn about things that exist on the internet, like ball sack makeup blending. That’s right, instead of using a brush or one of those fancy sponge beauty blenders, one woman opted to go with a sweatier, hairier option: her boyfriend’s nuts.
Don’t worry. Teabag blending is not a crazy new trend, thankfully, but the product of a bored couple’s humorous conversation. According to an interview with Buzzfeed, the woman seen in the video on Twitter, Johnna Hines, decided to pull off this ridiculous stunt after her boyfriend, Damon Richards, made bean bagging her with his family jewels a habit.
“He’s always messing with me so he started putting his balls on my head. I made a joke about using them as a beauty blender and we literally just looked at each other and started laughing and made the video from there.”
Seriously? What’s up with guys’ obsession with plopping their saggy giggleberries on people’s heads and faces? The world may never know.
After creating a poll on Twitter for whether or not she should use her boyfriend’s crowned jewels as a beauty blender, the results were “yes.” Because of course.
If you have the stomach for it, you can learn how to get the Johnna Hines’ look in the video by clicking on the image below. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s dangled bits?
Makeup videos that show people how to contour and blend are widely popular, and this isn’t the first video we’ve seen where people have taken to unconventional methods. There have been people who use objects such as a Swiffer, plunger, shovel, and even a wine bottle to contour their makeup, but never with a man’s nards, or bollocks. But hey, maybe Johnna is onto something, what with all the blending possibilities pube hairs have to offer?
The genital makeup possibilities to follow after Johnna Hines’ video are vast. You could use labes as a guide for applying winged eyeliner, or boners for defining your cheekbones. Anything is possible when you’re a pervert with an imagination. Just go balls to the wall and see what sticks.
Johnna’s NSFW makeup blending video is as viral as herpes, with over 28k retweets and 40k likes. And she’s pretty psyched about it all.
And because we believe in education here at Sammiches & Psych Meds, we’ve decided to teach you how to say “testicles” in four different languages to help you adapt to life after having witnessed this video.
Italian – testicoli
German – hoden
French – testicules
Spanish – testiculos
Class is dismissed.