NOTE: Spoilers abound, so if you’re not all caught up on your GoT, you may want to GeT.
I’m convinced there is only one person that is 100% guaranteed to survive the battle between the living and the dead, and that person is Jon Snow. While I’ve grown to love many characters, I’m at peace with the fact that half the cast will get got in tonight’s highly anticipated epic battle. In fact, I prefer it. The rest of the episodes should solely focus on the fight for the throne, and not on Sansa and Dany building some sort of sisterhood. So while I expect a ton of people to die – lookin’ at you, Jorah the borah – they can’t kill off everyone for obvious reasons. Here is the list of characters I would be most shocked to see eat it.
1. Daenerys Targaryen
Before the season started, I would have bet my life savings Dany would make it out unscathed. She’s revealed herself to be a bit of an unforgiving tyrant, and could possibly see her demise come early. I really don’t think this will happen, hence her being at the top of the list, but the writers have shown their willingness to dispatch major characters without warning.
2. Cersei Lannister
I wish she would die. I’ve wished as much for 7.2 seasons. Hell, I hate Cersei more than I hated Joffrey, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to bite it. In fact, she’s not even going to be at the battle seeing as she (obviously) lied about coming to help. Some theories have suggested that the Night King is actually going to King’s Landing to “enlist” their army, but that would be stupid, and that is one adjective I would not use to describe this show.
3. Arya Stark
Arya is the baddest bitch on the block. She would win in one-on-one combat against almost any character, save for maybe Jon or Sir Brienne. In fact, I could see her taking out the Night King with the new weapon her boy toy made pre-coitus.
4. Sansa Stark
Sansa is definitely the most expendable of the bunch, but the writers have spent too much time building up the strength of her character to just let her die. Furthermore, she’s not a warrior, so it’s unlikely she’ll be engaged in active battle.
5. Theon Greyjoy
This may come as a surprise because he is such a hated character, so let me explain. He has shown balls (ha) by coming to Winterfell to fight alongside people who hate him for obvious reasons. He also took it upon himself to protect Bran, who I think will have to die in order for the battle to be won. Despite not protecting him from dying, which will ultimately save the viewers from dying of boredom every time we have to look at his brooding face, Theon will have played a big role in saving humanity, and will need to get the ultimate pardon from Jon.
There are characters I would love to see survive, such as Tormund, Sir Davos, and Sam Tarly, but I’m really just hopeful they get heroic on-screen deaths worthy of their characters. Basically, if you have a dick and you’re not named Jon Snow, chances are, you’re dead.