Humor Life Parenting SPM/MM Tweets

18 Hilarious Tweets About Struggle-Shopping at the Grocery Store

There was once a point in time where humans roamed the Earth, armed with ingenuity and fire, self-sufficient and able to nourish themselves with the fruits of their pursuits in the wild, whether they be hunted, fished, or grown in the Earth as Gaia intended.

Now we have the grocery store.

Our species has turned in our spears and bows and traded them for carts and coupons as our labors to feed ourselves and our families has moved indoors – under the stark, looming halogens of the almighty grocery store.

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The grocery store is one of the modern day fronts of this dreadfully dreary battle we call adulthood. It is fraught with many perils. Small talk, decision-making and being confronted with which toilet paper income bracket you fall into are just a few of the unique and soul-crushing difficulties of the modern day grocery store.

And that’s not even tracing the surface of what it’s like if you happen to have kids. From grocery carts 75% full of high fructose fuckery to carrying your pride and joy slung over your shoulder as you drop-kick them into their snug and crumb-laden car seats, the grocery store struggle is real, but as a parent, it’s practically in emotional technicolor.

The same can be said for your marriage. If your relationship isn’t tested to the absolute limits after being within a 2 mile radius of a conveyor belt manned by a teenager with a shitty attitude and a burgeoning love of Fritos and cannabis, then are you even married at all?

Despite these pitfalls, the fact is that we gotta eat. And considering that we don’t seem to have a single clue about how to do that without having the essentials sold to us by big evil corporations, that means we are gonna have to brave the grocery store.

Good luck and Godspeed!

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Grocery stores are basically haunted houses, but instead of being haunted by ghosts, they are haunted by your expectations that simply buying some food and Kleenex shouldn’t induce an emotional crisis.

And yet, here we are. *shrugs*

If this gave you a laugh, pay it forward by sharing it with your fellow friends who have a complicated love/hate relationship with the grocery store!