Mom Not Even Sure Whose Pee She’s Cleaning

By Jacqueline Miller of

Atlanta resident Kimberly Smith, 33, doesn’t know whose small puddle of pee inhabits the floor of her downstairs bathroom; she just knows she needs to clean it up before the dog or toddler gets into it.

The 32-year-old IT consultant has a 3-year-old daughter, Ellie, and 5-year-old son, Parker.

“My little girl is still potty training. We just transitioned from the potty chair to the big girl toilet, which is still a bit tricky for her,” Smith said. “She’d be my first guess. I’m 70% sure it’s Ellie’s pee.”

As she wiped up the lukewarm pool of urine with paper towel, the woman thought further on the situation.

“But my son, Parker, he has terrible aim!” she explained. A friend told her about setting a dish of Cheerios near the toilet and making potty time into a game. “We haven’t tried ‘Dunk the Cheerio’ yet. I really need to get on that.”

The woman then used disinfecting wipes to go over the spot where the biohazard previously rested. That’s about the same time her 12-year-old Golden Retriever, Roxy, rambled in.

“Another suspect!” the woman announced. Though the dog has been trained to do her business outside for more than a decade, Roxy has recently slowed down considerably and had a couple accidents last week.

Once the mystery pee was completely cleaned and the evidence dealt with, Smith confessed, “I guess I’ll never know who belonged to the urine I just mopped up. That’s something they don’t warn you about in the parenting books.”


About the Author

Jacqueline Miller is a freelance journalist whose work has appeared in Scary Mommy and Her View From Home. She lives in the Midwest and uses a pseudonym for her family’s privacy. Find her at and on Facebook.