Washington and Oregon have both recently passed legislation at the state level that says kids are required to give their moms a minimum of 10% of their collected Halloween candy.
“This is a tax that’s been in place for decades, but has never been an official law until now. It’s very exciting for us,” said Gina Wrightly, President and Founder of HOTMESS (Hangry, Old, Tired Moms Enjoy Sugary Snacks).
“This is candy that children are obtaining at no cost to them. We don’t think it’s unreasonable for mothers to collect a tax in the form of chocolate, not counting Tootsie Rolls and Whoppers, for obvious reasons,” added Wrightly.
In fact, the statute very clearly lays out the types of candy that are submittable forms of currency for the tax, which includes most forms of chocolate, Jolly Ranchers, non-yellow Starbursts, those strawberry things, Airheads, and Red Vines.
Candy not applicable toward the tax includes most sour candy, anything with malt or black licorice, candy that looks like it might have been from last Halloween, Smarties, stand-alone caramels, and “TWIZZLERS! STOP MAKING THESE, YOU MONSTERS.”
When asked why the tax doesn’t include dads, Wrightly responded, “Did any dads you know have their genitals destroyed like piñatas when their kids were born?”
We then inquired if taxes would be applied to other junk food in the future, and Wrightly laughed. “No, we’re not going to tax every delicious thing you eat. This isn’t California.”