Melania Trump Responds to Plagiarism Accusations, Swears She Didn’t Crib This One Either

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By Rhiannon Giles of and Melissa Janisin of

Friends, Romans, countrymen: lend me your ears. It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and I must set the record straight.

It has come to my attention that I am being accused of plager… plagia… stealing words for the speech I delivered at the Republican National Convention. I am here today to assure you that those who accuse me have seriously misunderestimated me.

I am not a crook. I used words that are common to the English language, which I know because my husband said so. No one has a copyright on those words. As far as we are aware. Our lawyers are looking into it.

Be that as it may, I want to impress upon you the fact that I love this country and all of its peoples, because there is no place like home. I truly feel that we the people, in order to form a more perfect union, must come together and not be driven apart by false rumors and unfounded accusations. We cannot walk alone. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and every valley shall be exalted. My husband and I intend to make this dream a reality.

This is why I speak to you today – not to ask what my country can do for me, but to ask what I can do for my country. Because as my parents told me so often, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. We must be a thousand points of light! Unless someone like you cares a whole lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.

To err is human, and a person’s a person, no matter how small their hands are. I do not like this accusation. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. No, I do not like it, not one little bit, but I will keep calm and carry on because everything happens for a reason. Oh, the thinks I can think up if only I try!

So give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. My husband and I will provide free air, and that is a promise.

With the air cleared it is time to bid you so long, farewell. Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon.

Together we will make America great again — let the wild rumpus start!


About the Authors

Rhiannon Giles is an overwhelmed mother who only occasionally considers giving her children to the circus. She has a sarcasm problem and writes regularly at To keep up with new posts and see some of her favorites, join her on Facebook and Twitter.

Melissa Janisin is a writer, reader, mom and baseball fan, living and working it Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, or at