As mothers, we have all been shit on.

How many of us have had that moment of panic when we’re out shopping with friends and our child has a blowout and we’ve only brought a change of clothes for the child?

How many of us, in a hurry to get to work, have doused our blouse with water from the daycare sink to hide the urine evidence from our son who has missed the toilet?

How many of us have had our child’s bowel stains pointed out hours later at a business meeting and have had to loudly laugh it off as a chocolate craving mishap?

What if I told you that you don’t have to be ashamed anymore? That you can wear that poo with pride?

I am thrilled to share with you the latest trends in Mom’s fashion: Bowel Beauty. Spotted in fashion capitals such as Paris and Milan, women are no longer throwing on drab sweats and over-sized hoodies to hide their child’s excrement; they are proudly showcasing them!

“What I love most about this latest fashion trend is that no replicas can be made. Every style worn by a mother is completely unique, custom-made by the child,” says Rebecca, an undergrad currently studying fashion design at Parsons.

“I don’t have to be embarrassed anymore,” says Susan, mother of daughter, Felicity. “My 5-month-old had a mild case of diarrhea and got some on my cocktail dress right before dropping her off at the sitter’s. My immediate response was to rush home and change, but then I realized this was a pivotal moment to showcase my motherhood.” She smiles fondly. “Made some great memories that night.”

Recent celebrity spottings in the US include Heidi Klum sporting a maxi dress with speckled urine droppings along the neckline and Angelina Jolie with bowel movement streaks along the back pocket of her jeans.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if we see a rise in fashion designers as these child artists mature,” says Diana, a budding fashionista. “These are very exciting times.”