By Cassandra of TheNextDelusion
Yelp! Reviews
William Howard Taft Middle School Cafeteria
Lunch, Hours: 10:30am-1:00pm
Reviewed by Cassandra D., 8th Grade
Avoid the Taft Caf. if at all possible! The staff appears disinterested at best and are always looking down on the patrons (well at least the 6th graders). The hostesses fail to greet customers upon entering and only acknowledge them to tell them to get down off a table or to stop singing “We will rock you” at full volume.
The food is, in a word, unacceptable. On Monday I had the popcorn chicken with smiley face fries. The chicken resembled brownish balls of fried goo and was notably inferior to similar fare found at any fast food joint. As for the fries, I can only imagine that the smiling is meant ironically.
Tuesday’s Nacho Supreme was no better. I don’t know how they are allowed to use “Supreme” in the label when there are no jalapenos, no guacamole and not a dollop of sour cream in sight. Even worse, the meat was “lean,” and I was forced to select from a variety of fruit by my server. Who wants fruit with their nachos?
The drink options at this establishment are ridiculously limited, as patrons are forced to choose between milk, chocolate milk, and water. Rumor is that a soda machine used to inhabit the space, but it was removed sometime during the Clinton (whoever that was) administration. If they expect customers to choke down that popcorn chicken, they really should supply a good energy drink with strong terroir and subtle, layered overtones to accompany it.
Finally, the ambiance at the Taft Caf. is completely unacceptable. The volume clocks in somewhere north of diesel engine, and the other patrons are extremely rowdy. Furthermore, there is no rhyme or reason to customer seating. Anyone can just sit down at your table and inflict social embarrassment when your friends learn that you ate lunch with Sam Strickmeyer.
I will award this establishment a single star only because it is reliably open every weekday and because the Taylor Lautner and Jackson Rathbone “READ” posters taped to the walls are really hot. However, if you have any other options for your lunchtime meal, I strongly suggest that you take them.
*****
About the Author
Cassandra is in her mid-forties with two children and works as a data analyst despite her love of words and deep mistrust of all things numeric. Her writing has been featured on The Mid, In the Powder Room, The Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop, and Great Moments in Parenting. She blogs with her partner in crime Momus at www.TheNextDelusion.com.