However, although we know that parenting is full of hard things, we aren’t fully aware of just how many of those daily difficulties we’re going to face. People talk a lot about losing your freedom or sleep when you have kids, but in reality, it’s the slow buildup of the many other minor difficulties that really do your tits in for the long haul.
There’s the neverending losing of the gloves and hats, there’s the daily search for matching shoes and socks, and the maddening, Groundhog Day-level insanity of making chicken nuggets every. day. until. you. die.
And then there’s helping your kids with homework. Just when you think you’re out of the woods with parenting fuckery, you end up in the position of having to do algebra again after your brain has been slowly decomposing under a steady diet of sleep deprivation and the Frozen soundtrack. Good luck and God bless.
Here’s what the funny parents of Twitter have to say about the nightmarish inconvenience of helping your kids with their math homework!
1. It’s also very fun and wholesome to end up in the emergency room
Fun drinking game:
Help your 7th grader with algebra homework and take a sip every time you want to kill yourself.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) March 1, 2018
2. Can confirm, the parent def. cries more
I don’t know who cries harder when math homework is brought home – me or my daughter.
— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) January 31, 2020
3. Do that thing I like
[Married Pillow Talk]
Husband: Tell me what you want
Me: I want you to help our son with his math homework.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 31, 2017
4. Everything seems to be ticking along nicely, soooo
Okay, I’m not going to ask how you got there because I won’t understand anyway but the answer book says it’s correct so good job.
– me helping my 6yo with his math and nailing it
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) February 14, 2019
5. Not having a value assigned for X seems just reckless in the first place
Child: It says "solve for X"
Me: Well, look at our clock with Roman numerals on it.
Child: Um. Ok.
Me: What number is "X?"
Child [counting]: 10.
Me: Right. X is always 10.
Child: OH OKAY. [writing answer]Me:
Wife: You know they'll end up living at home right?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 21, 2020
6. Why can’t one of those annoying Tik-Tokers help you
Listen kid, don’t ask me for help with your math homework when you know perfectly well that there’s a YouTube tutorial you could watch.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 17, 2019
7. *Cut to everyone raising their hands*
If you haven’t tried to trade sexual favors with your spouse to get out of helping the kids with homework are you even a terrible parent?
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) January 23, 2018
8. This is a cry for help
Day #36- Still helping the 4th grader with math homework. Own math trauma has been fully triggered. The light is dimming. Hope fading. Outlook for own mental health prognosis is not good. Send reinforcements. Won’t last much longer.
— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) November 16, 2017
9. Fuck Attachment Parents, I’m an Evasive Parent
I'm hiding in the bathroom because my kid asked me to help her with her math homework.
DM me for parenting tips and advice.
— bipolarmommi (@KarenGiannina6) January 21, 2020
10. Honestly, I feel like I’m not the best bitch for the job
teacher: your son needs help with math
me: I'll give it 110%
teacher: maybe your wife could do it?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 6, 2019
On the scale of parenting nightmares, math is minor, but holy shit is it ever annoying!
I’d say that if I could go back and learn it again to prepare, I would, but honestly I’d probably just fail it then too.
And remember, laughing plus sharing equals a good time for everyone!