Can I be real y’all?
Because I think we all need to be more real with each other.
If you’re going to post that perfect selfie, at least sometimes post the ones that make you feel like a troll.
If you’re going to post how spotless your living room is, at least sometimes share a picture of your dreaded junk drawer.
If you’re going to swoon about how perfect your relationship is, at least be honest that sometimes you just aren’t on the same page.
So, in the spirit of being real, here’s my honesty.
by Jenni Brennan of Changing Perspectives Online
The past few days have been no good, terrible, bad days.
Has there also been love and light and laughter and hope?
But, right now I want to acknowledge the crappy parts. I need to honor my sadness, anger, frustration, and fear because they are just as valid as the good feelings.
So often my clients share how hard it is to talk with their friends and family about the hard stuff because everyone always shares only the good stuff. It makes them feel like they are the only ones that sometimes feel like they are losing at everything.
So here is my ugly. Here is my raw. Here is my real.
My dog has cancer. It will likely be OK but still, getting that news and forking up the treatment money is really stressful.
I have a major surgery scheduled next month. It will give me relief from decades of pain but it will put a financial, emotional, and physical strain on me and my family that I’m still not quite prepared for.
I fought with my shower head this morning – like curse words and everything. I just wanted to change the setting from the “peel the skin off your body” setting to just a “normal shower” setting but my little t-Rex arms had difficulty with this. It made what was to be my 5 minute break from the world a giant pain in the butt.
I dropped a whole bottle of water all over my rug after finishing my bike ride today. I couldn’t even be bothered to clean it up right away. I threw a towel down over it, stomped on it a few times, and left it for later.
My trash needs to be emptied right now but I’m going to leave it until the morning.
I’ve been sick with a sinus infection for three weeks and had to rearrange my schedule again today so I could go be seen at urgent care.
A few hours later, I found out that my son was exposed to Covid a few days ago. So, I had to rearrange things again to get him scheduled for a Covid test.
My husband and I aren’t really speaking right now. He looked at me the wrong way or breathed the wrong way and now I’m mad at him. I’m not even exaggerating.
Are there ways to flip all these instances and focus on the positive? Heck yeah.
But, doing that isn’t what I need right now.
Sometimes too much positivity can be toxic and can minimize the hard parts of life.
The truth is, sometimes we just need to be reminded that other people struggle, that other people have bad days, that other people call their shower heads really crude names and pick fights with their spouses just because.
Sometimes we get to (maybe even NEED to) spend a few minutes acting like a toddler with a scowl on her face and her arms crossed tightly across her body – complete with a giant pouty face.
This is my flawed and far from perfect life.
Keep sharing your good days because they inspire others but don’t forget to share your bad days too because they remind others that it’s OK to be human.
Here’s to all you other humans just trying to make it to a better day.
May tomorrow be kind.
About the Author
Jenni Brennan is a psychotherapist, college professor, creator of Changing Perspectives (www.changingperspectivesonline.com), and co-host of The Changing Perspectives Podcast. Jenni is passionate about exploring the topics of parenting, relationships, grief, and mental health through her writing and podcast episodes. She lives with her husband, 2 teenage sons, 3 dogs, and 2 cats in Boston, Massachusetts. You can follow Jenni on Facebook at @changingperspectivespodcast and on Instagram at @changingperspectivesblog.