By MockMom Contributors

After coming under fire last week for nominating Bono as one of our Women of the Year (who only squeezed through after we determined a garden gnome was ineligible), we at GLAMOUR Magazine felt compelled to make things worse by giving out our other awards for the Best of 2016:

Best Women’s Magazine: Maxim

Technological Achievement of the Year: Those nudes you sent that he’ll never delete

Favorite Entertainment: As much Call of Duty as possible

Favorite Home Decor: Dirty tube socks on the floor

R&B Musician of the Year: Chris Brown

Country Musician of the Year: Ted Nugent

Favorite TV Personality: Pat Robertson

Favorite Author: Ann Coulter

Favorite Radio Personality: Rush Limbaugh (whom we’ve also nominated for the Nobel Peace prize based on his diplomacy and ability to deescalate politically-charged arguments)

Favorite International Entrepreneur/Alleged Rapist: Julian Assange

Favorite Domestic Entrepreneur/Alleged Rapist: Donald Trump

Word of the Year: “Pussy”

Medical Innovation of the Year: Yet another female birth control option

Best Company to Work for: Westboro Baptist Church (Hooters: a close second)

Hottest Trend of the Year: Misogyny

Loungewear of the Year: Underwire Bras and G-strings

Invention of the Year: Sex dolls for men…with warm genitalia

Best Sex Position with Actual Humans: A three-way tie between Blowjobs, Reverse Cowgirl, and Anal

Best Position of Toilet Seat: Up

Sexiest Man Alive: Megan Fox

*****

Special thanks to the following contributors: Crystal Lowery (Creepy Ginger Kid), Melissa Janisin (goodnessmadness.com), Elizabeth Argyropoulos (Bourgeois Alien), and Joanna McClanahan (Ramblin’ Mama)