Humor Life Tweets

23 Hilarious Tweets About Just How Damn Old You Are

Aging is not for the faint of heart. One day you’re young and fresh and staying up until sunbreak, and the next you’re planning your day around bathroom breaks and saying things like “that’s a reasonable price.”

However, getting older is one of life’s constants; you can fight it if you want, but you will get nowhere. Mostly because you’re old, and fighting makes you gassy and flares up your joints. Whomp whomp!

I personally remember being young and thinking that I would never get old. I thought 30 years old was about as old as a person could get. All of the sudden I’m 35, on the prowl for sensible shoes and getting excited about home composting systems.

Despite our hangups about aging, there are some good things. The older you get, the fewer fucks you have to give to ridiculous shit. I mean, really, you need to save that energy you used to spend on drama or chasing your dreams for if you find a really good sale, or see an old friend at the grocery store and want to enthusiastically tell her about how far you’ve gotten on yardwork. #goals.

Getting older is hilarious because you can see and feel it happening, and yet it seems to sneak up on you all the same. The backaches, the shifts in priorities and the appreciation for bargains and other mundane things will simultaneously make you want to laugh and cry. And that’s pretty much aging in a nutshell.

So Sit Back, Relax, and Check Out These 24 Hilarious Tweets About Just How Damn Old You Are!

1. Old enough to appreciate good home decor

2. Old enough to let things go

3. Old enough to count chins, instead of years lived

4. Old enough to pencil in a date with a cheeseburger

5. Old enough to have wrinkles every-damn-where

6. Old enough that the rest of the world can just keep their mouths shut

7. Old enough to be forgiving

8. Old enough to be an unpredictable date


9. Old enough to be in tune with your physical self

10. Old enough to skip the party and go straight to the regret

11. Old enough to be wise, if not limber

12. Old enough to get it right… eventually

13. Old enough to be a lone wolf

14. Old enough to always be prepared

15. Old enough that you should have written a list

16. Old enough to see (and feel) the truth

17. Old enough to have more pressing concerns


18. Old enough that it shows

19. Old enough that you just can’t be bothered

20. Old enough to tetris the fuck outta that chicken tetrazzini

21. Old enough that the kids won

22. Old enough that you’re key ring is 28 lbs like some kind of medieval jailer

23. Old enough to secure a loan at an absolutely bananas interest rate, fam


Got some old friends that could use a laugh? Share this shit and look 10 years younger!