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We Now Know The Age You’re “Too Old” For The Bar Scene

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I remember standing in a crowded bar with my girlfriends, each of us dressed to the nines. We’d spent the early evening hours drinking wine, gossiping, and polishing our nails in preparation for a night at the club. I can still smell that hazy bar smell—a mixture of stale smoke and dollar drinks.

We had no firm plans, no structured time, and no curfew. We were merely passengers of the night, dancing and laughing until the wee hours of the morning. I remember thinking I would never grow tired of wild Saturday nights like that. We were young, and reckless, and a damn good time to be around.

But now, as a 30-something, I can honestly say, fuck all that. Is there a bar with minimal people, over-stuffed sofas, free streaming Netflix, and a firm “no bra” policy? Cause, I might go there.

While there’s technically no age limit on the club life, a recent survey by Currys PC World suggests most people prefer to stay in once they turn 31, and the majority believe you’re too old for the club when you hit 37. That’s right, 37 is too old to party, and if you show up at the bar once you cross the threshold of 40, 39% of those surveyed considered it to be “tragic.”

So, put your heels in the closet and sit your old ass back down on the sofa, Helen.

The study, entitled The Great Indoors, used a sample of 5,000 adults to determine how people are spending time in their homes. What it found was 46% of those polled dreaded social outings and preferred a night of Netflix over cocktails at the local pub.

That’s not to say the rest of us are anti-social spinsters who prefer binge watching Netflix sans pants. 29% of people reported they still enjoyed an active social life, but at home, with friends coming over for dinner or other forms of in-home entertainment.

I don’t know about you, but I’m totally OK with any research that gives me an excuse to avoid over-priced drinks in a crowded bar. Or maybe, it’s because I’m in my early thirties, and this study speaks to my soul.

Either way, you do you, but if you’re in your thirties, maybe just do it at home, so the youngsters can enjoy their $18 mojitos without having to be swarmed by geriatric bar flies.