All right, friends, these are trying times. There’s been a consistent and organized assault on something we hold dear, and we need to remain silent no longer!
I’m talking about carbohydrates. Yep — carbs.
Keto and Paleo type diets are enjoying a lot of popularity despite their shameless persecution of everyone’s favorite misunderstood biomolecule. These days you can’t shake your therapy baguette without hitting some bitch trying to tell you that carbs are bad for you. Bad for you! Blasphemy. I would argue that carbs are not only the most wonderful food group, they are also a divine gift from Heaven.
[adsanity id=”35664″ align=”aligncenter”/]However, despite our love for them, there are legit reasons why cutting back on certain carbs might be a good idea for some folks. Even so, our love for them makes doing this not so easy.
Check out the following list of hilarious tweets that show our love for carbs is real, and we’d be willing to cake a bitch who’d say otherwise.
1.) The Only Tool You Need
Friend: I’m dieting and need to try something new. What’s your favorite way to cut carbs?⁰⁰Me: *Whips out pizza cutter*
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) September 1, 2018
2.) It’s Just Science
I don't always work out, but when I do, I make sure to eat my weight in carbs afterward. Because balance.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) April 24, 2016
3.) Won’t you Think of the Children!
[adsanity id=”35667″ align=”aligncenter”/]I would like to shine a light on the damage done to families by Low Carb Mood Disorders.
— Anna Lee Beyer (@anna_beyer) February 28, 2019
4.) Big Mood
When you cut all carbs, is it normal to want to cut a bitch too?
Asking for a friend.— Snarky Breeders (@snarkybreeders) July 17, 2018
5.) Your Bedside Manner is Just Appalling
*me talking to Nutritionist*
I don't know why you have to say hurtful things like "cut out carbs" and "no processed foods"— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 31, 2015
6.) #Healthylifehacks
You can correct me for saying, “Feed a fever, carb up a cold,” but I’d wait until I’m done slicing this bagel.
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) November 12, 2017
7.) They’re my Everything
Carbs are my therapist, my nanny, my lover and my destroyer
— ~*Wellness Witchery*~ (@TheMandiEm) June 14, 2018
8.) Talk Bread-y to Me
Carbs are my love language.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) June 28, 2016
9.) Do as I Say and Not as I Do
Yes you have to eat all your vegetables. Because we eat healthy in this house.
-me, while drinking beer for dinner
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) April 13, 2017
10.) Works Every Time
[adsanity id=”35665″ align=”aligncenter”/]I don’t watch This Is Us. When I want to feel sad and hopeless I just start a low carb diet and wait 2 hours.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2018
11.) Asking the Important Questions
https://twitter.com/Love_bug1016/status/1101277771131744257
12.) It Couldn’t be Helped
I’m sorry about what I said when I was eating keto.
— Snarky Breeders (@snarkybreeders) July 21, 2018
13.) It’s Called Problem Solving Sweetie, Look it Up
My favorite way to get motivated for weight loss is by changing the channel to different fitness reality TV shows using a bread stick.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) September 29, 2016
14.) I Hope it’s Big
I need keto phone sex.
Just call me up and describe the bread you’re eating.— Snarky Breeders (@snarkybreeders) July 21, 2018
15.) Save Me
My husband is listening to a podcast about removing carbs/sugar from your diet.
Hold my donut, he’s going to drag me to hell with him. 😩
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) January 25, 2017
16.) I Tried so You Don’t Have to
Didn’t eat bread today.
0 stars. Would not recommend.
— Becca Carnahan (@with_love_becca) January 14, 2019
17.) I Just Need a Hit
[adsanity id=”35666″ align=”aligncenter”/]4 weeks into the keto diet and I’m looking at pictures of baguettes in an incognito window at 2am.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) November 15, 2018
18.) This Gender Gap is Way Unfair
I tried a low carb diet with my husband once. He lost 24 pounds in 6 weeks, I lost 3 pounds and my will to live.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) March 5, 2019
19.) It’s Quite Simple
Me: Does this have carbs?
Wife: Does it taste good?
Me: Yeah.
Wife: Then it has carbs.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 6, 2019
20.) PRIORITIES
I didn’t pack any carbs in my lunch today so I’ll be going home “sick” by noon.
— 🌴 Envy 🌴 (@envydatropic) March 6, 2019
So as you can see, you can take the carbs out of the diet, but you can’t take the undying love of them out of our hearts.