It seems like just yesterday we moms weren’t moms. We were young and single with perky tits, zero stretchmarks, and body con dresses, sipping vodka Redbulls and pop, lock, and droppin’ it from the window to the wall all the way to closing time with a gaggle of our best girls at the club. Now, we’re just pop, snap, and crackling as we step out of bed every morning to the sound of our kids screaming our names on a continuous loop from sun up to sun down.
Every time I hear a rap or hip hop jam from the early 2000s, I wanna jump up on my coffee table, bend over to the front and touch my boots-with-the-fur-clad toes. Then I realize that even though my favorite ass-shaking music is from the 2000s, those songs are still 10+ years old, and then I cry into the coffee one of my kids dropped a Lego in.
We started at the Apple Bottom Jeans; now we’re pulling the elastic waistband of our yoga pants up over our stomachs like makeshift Spanx where they’ll be used as tissues by our kids.
If you were raised by DMX, Busta Rhymes, Eminem, and Jay-Z, you’ll feel right at home with these 19 funny memes by moms who ain’t nevah scurred. Be sure to click the images to follow these hilarious people for more!
1. Riding Dirty
Usually when I go bra-less, the parts of me that swing the most are my boobies. Oh no, I made more kids scream in terror.
2. Neva scurred
We were raised on the words of lyrical geniuses and Momma will knock you out.
3. Ahh ShitShitShit Gahdamn
If you ever wanted to know what a rap song would sound like if it were written by a mom, here you go!
4. Will the real Slim Shady please just go tf to sleep?
Why use the same old go-tos when it comes to nicknames? Use the rap gods as inspiration!
5. Wish in one hand…
Y’all gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here if you don’t listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth.
6. There’s not enough wine in the world, doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo
If I have to listen to this song one more time, I volunteer to get eaten by the whole damn Shark family.
7. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta
They knew what they were getting into. No ragrets.
8. We don’t mix well with everyone
Have fun listening to Wheels on the Bus and wishing for death!
9. Clever marketing
Take my money, I’m sold.
They may take the heat from my coffee and my last nerve, but they’ll never take Wu Tang.
11. We don’t mess around
Don’t make Momma act a fool. I will get lit af in this drop-off.
12. I think we’ll get along just fine
This is the only prerequisite I need to us becoming Mom BFFs.
13. Teach them the classics
Listen up, because you’re gonna learn today.
14. Know your facts
Welcome to Mom’s school of rap, kids!
15. I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND
We could probably come up with something pretty epic if tiny people weren’t constantly wiggling their toes right next to us and sneezing into our mouths.
Minute after minute, hour after hour, Googling how to get random stains out of fabrics and upholstery.
17. Mommy Finger on two hands up
Just let me live, you guys.
18. Sorry, not sorry
Rollin’ ’round the school with my jams up, sippin’ on my iced coffee (that’s why we’re late, oops).
19. We will trample you
The minute the beat drops on any of these songs, we will start dancing; it doesn’t matter where we are or who is watching. Bet.
Girls just wanna have fun, but moms raised on ’90s and 2000s rap and hip hop just wanna bend over, make our knees touch our elbows…I mean, figuratively, while wearing sensible shoes in the comfort of our own homes, and as long as we can be in bed by 10 pm.
If this made you giggle with nostalgia, check out our other meme roundups, and don’t forget to spread the joy by sharing!
What was your go-to rap or hip hop jam growing up?