Having a baby is a life-changing experience. All of a sudden you have this gorgeous tiny little thing that is completely reliant on you, and you love it more than anything else in the world.
And then they grow up.
From the toddler years to the tweens, each stage comes with it’s own exceptional challenges. Despite the frequent calls to “cherish every moment,” there’s a overwhelming number of moments that really don’t deserve to be cherished at all. Let’s just take those memories of the toddler smearing shit on the walls or melting down in the bread aisle and file them deep, deep in the basement of our consciousness. You know, so we can continue loving them!
That being said it does get a little easier as they get older. Barring of course, the teen years.
The teen years are a fuckery that’s quite unheard of in the grand scheme of parenting. Sure there’s the eye-rolling of the tweens, but there is really nothing quite like the stinky, messy, attitude-y hot mess that parenting teens is.
Despite this being that same baby you once held and adored, they end up being gangling screamy monsters that hate your guts for everything.
But no worries mama, it only last for… well, a few years.
14 Tweets About The Hilarious Reality of Raising Teens
1. Fun fact: knowing a teen significantly increases your chances of being royally pissed off at one.
I never wanted to murder a teenager until I had one.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) February 8, 2018
2. Behold the teen in it’s natural habitat- a fucking mess.
Something that might be a sandwich
– things I find on my teen's floor
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 6, 2020
3. LOL, living that rideshare bitch life.
My Saturday night plans: picking up the teen from HER Saturday night plans.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 5, 2020
4. And probably snacks
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's probably your teen who needs money for gas.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 17, 2020
5. I just love getting updates from the peanut gallery.
If you would like a free and ongoing evaluation of your driving techniques, enroll your teen in driver’s ed.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) June 19, 2019
6. Excuse me while I sob into this old box of baby clothes.
I used to believe that I was a great parent.
Then my kids turned into teenagers.
7. Nothing ruins a teen’s life like a jacket.
Shoutout to all the parents who're ruining their teens' life by making them wear weather appropriate clothing
— ~*Wellness Witchery*~ (@TheMandiEm) October 16, 2018
8. It’s like a superpower that feels decidedly NOT super.
95% of my teenager's room could be a laundry basket and he'd manage to throw his clothes in the 5% that wasn't.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 31, 2017
9. Thank God masks are the norm now.
According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 27, 2017
10. Replace all of your hopes and dreams with- you guessed it- phone chargers!
Have a teen with a birthday coming up? Buy them a phone charger.
Christmas half a year away? Stock up on phone chargers.
Did they actually get up off their ass and bring 5 sets of dishes from their room? Award them with a phone charger.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 12, 2019
11. Just love watching my precious baby girl channel Satan like this.
Hell hath no fury like a teen daughter who has “nothing to wear.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 27, 2020
12. The probability hits right on 100%.
How to tell if your teen hates you:
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 6, 2015
13. Show me the lie.
For toddlers, everything’s a party.
For teenagers, everything’s a funeral.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) January 10, 2019
13. Teenagers seem to experience time very differently than the rest of us.
Me: Hurry up!
My teen: Does the opposite of hurry up for the next five years.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) March 7, 2020
At the end of the day, the teens are just a phase that will be over eventually.
I mean, one day they’ll be all grown up and out of your hair. And your house. And maybe they’ll call sometimes? Gosh, I hope they call.
And then one day, if you’re really lucky, they’ll have teenagers too and the circle will close. Ahh, the sweet smell of justice!