Humor Parenting SPM/MM Tweets

13 Funny Tweets That Show How Vicious Kids Can Be

Kids are pure instinct. They haven’t yet been tamed by societal rules and expectations because they are young, carefree, and simply DGAF when it comes to social graces. This makes it so that they can be a little … strong-willed when it comes to getting what they want. You see, what a child wants can change with a moment’s notice, and what they want, they are willing to take – with force.

Kids are sweet, helpless little critters; however, they are also brutal, feisty little creatures. A child wouldn’t waste a second thought when it comes to kicking you in the privates, whether it was intentional or not. Kids will straight up injure you and laugh in your face after. Pure gangster shit.

Now, the fact that kids are so dreadfully uncoordinated physically means that not all of their violence is intentional. Some of it comes from a genuine place of having no awareness of personal space or boundaries. And if you co-sleep, then be prepared to explain a LOT of bruising. Picture a windmill, but the blades are your baby’s arms and legs as they ninja flip all through the night trying to make sure you are sufficiently beaten and sleep deprived to bend to their will.

And it’s not just their parents that get the brunt of it. If you have more than one child, then you are very familiar with the kind of child-on-child savagery that only seems to come from siblings. Say “so long” to any peace and quiet in your home.

But although kids can be brutally physical, we love them anyway. One day they will be boring, socialized members of the human race and we will long for the days when we could hold them close and act as their punching bags.

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13 Funny Tweets That Show How Vicious Kids Can Be

1. Words matter

2. So fun

3. What’s a hug? Sounds very tame

4. Never go against the family

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5. You really need that wind-up for a super effective follow-through; it’s basic physics

6. So magical


8. *Extreme Mortal Kombat voice* Finish him!

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9. Who needs a masseuse when you have this kind of service

10. She has a point

11. Anything can be a sword if you believe

12. Where there’s a will, there’s a way

13. No sorries for you

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So if your kid is violent AF, there’s no need to worry

Sometimes it just be like that.

And by sometimes, I mean always. Here’s a Band-Aid.