True crime documentaries and podcasts have exploded in popularity, as our macabre interests continue to provide a distraction from the day-to-day doldrums. Sure we’re all drowning in kids and responsibilities, but you know what we really need to do with our “spare time?” Solve that unsolved murder that happened 25 years ago. Just gimme a coffee and some earbuds, and bitch, I’m good to go!
Now, nobody actually likes murder. I mean, that would be weird… right? But for some reason these stories captivate us like nothing else, and you wind up with a situation where we consume this content to relax and unwind. It’s like a massage but with DNA analysis. Or like a bubble bath, but with extra blood and guts.
Ok, maybe it’s not normal. Yet here we are.
12 Hilarious Tweets About Being a True Crime Buff
1. Apparently it’s all fun and games until the dog gets it.
Is the dog ok?
-My main concern while listening to true crime stories that mention a dog.
— August Baby (@39Temperance) November 30, 2020
2. Or maybe it sends the right message…. depends on how much you like your neighbors I suppose.
Listening to true crime podcasts on blast while digging a giant hole in your backyard at dusk sends the wrong message to the neighborhood. I know that now.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) November 2, 2020
3. Ahhh, sweet escapes.
Me: ugh I need a distraction from the horror of this world
Netflix: What about this documentary about a gruesome murder
Me: ffs Netflix
Me: that sounds awesome put it on
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) April 21, 2020
4. Get you a man like this.
Can’t sleep so I’m scrolling tinder and counting white girls with True Crime in their bios instead of sheep.
— Stone (@StoneAgeRadio13) March 24, 2020
6. I don’t know about you but this sounds pretty wild and wonderful in my book.
friday night ladies u know what that means!! time to act like i’m gonna go out but bail last minute to watch a netflix murder documentary & eat cheetos on my couch
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) August 10, 2018
7. Definitely not normal.
are u into true crime or are u normal? ❤️
— koby ♥ (@kobychill) April 19, 2020
8. Just when I think I’m out, they keep pulling me back in.
Me, all day: “I’m so tired; I can’t WAIT to go to sleep tonight!”
Me, at 1am, on my iPhone: “Whelp, these true crime cases aren’t going to solve themselves, so…”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) February 26, 2020
9. It is known.
10. Ah, a true mystery!
why am i scared to be in my apartment alone all i do is read books about murder and listen to podcasts about murder and watch tv shows about murder idk seems odd
— Matt. (@MattTheBrand) December 30, 2019
11. Look, if I don’t spend all 24 of my daily hours trying to solve this mystery that the police already couldn’t solve, someone I love could be next!
True crime fans be like I have a murder to solve by tomorrow
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) November 15, 2020
12. Like the sweet comforting warmth of a mothers arms!
I just want to be rocked to sleep by a murder show.
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) July 10, 2020
So sleep with one eye open and one ear to the latest True Crime murder podcast.
You may not be feeding your brain with the most positive stuff, but chances are you WILL be learning a thing or two about how to remove blood from textiles, or what those closest to you might secretly be capable of.
Remember to spread some cheer by sharing this list with your friends. After all, chances are good they’re a depraved bunch of weirdos… just like you!