Oh beer. That holy elixir that helps us cope with the raging side effects of being alive.
Am I saying alcohol is the way to handle life’s problems? Certainly not, but it is one thing that winds up being in some of our emotional support toolkits. After all, the Dads of the world whose hands can be found fused to a frosty aluminum tube couldn’t be wrong!
Beer is unlike other booze in the sense that it goes down so smooth that it almost feels like you aren’t just drinking alcohol in the middle of the day, at this child’s birthday party.
Cut to the wine mom chorus- “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere, tee-hee”!
Now, beer isn’t for everyone, however, it has picked itself up a ton of fans. After all, nothing else goes better with beach days, lazy days, mowing the lawn, breaking up sibling fights, making dinner, watching sports, building Legos, having a shower, sitting on the deck, gardening, having a barbeque, and simply existing. It’s the perfect refreshing compliment to your hectic as fuck lifestyle.
To like beer is to be in good company. After all, there are many people out there that absolutely love it. It certainly tends to help people make friends. Remember when we used to go for beers? I miss leaving the house.
So although it may not be healthiest option, it certainly does pair well the afflictions of adulthood, such as standing strong under the weight of crippling responsibility, and also parenting (psst- pass me another).
12 Hilarious Tweets About Beer
1. The love for beer obeys no clock.
Me [cracking open a beer]: Man, what a rough day.
Wife: IT’S 8 AM
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 12, 2019
2. Just the essentials, really.
Saturday evening grocery list when you're a parent:
1. Hot dogs
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) April 22, 2017
3. The grownup version of oil and water.
Me: I need to eat healthy and lose weight.
Also me: Beer.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2017
4. Um wow, SOLD!
“1 beer is equal to 7 slices of bread”
Me: hell yea. I fuckin love bread.
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) February 8, 2018
5. Wow this adult ADD is finally working out in my favor!
This grocery store gives a free beer with each visit, and I've never been happier to forget about items on my shopping list.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) April 6, 2017
6. Not to brag, but I’ve got my health priorities twisted on straight.
I can’t do a 30 second plank, but I can chug two beers in 30 seconds
— Doug Bies (@dougbies) August 4, 2020
7. “Do as I say and not as I do” is pretty much the only universal parenting law.
Yes you have to eat all your vegetables. Because we eat healthy in this house.
-me, while drinking beer for dinner
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) April 13, 2017
8. We’re gonna need something a little more fast-acting.
9. You say fun, I say there’s really no incentive for me to be here with these people I live with.
"Well, if they don't serve beer here, maybe they shouldn't call it a Family Fun Center."
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) January 22, 2018
10. Sharing is for suckas, son.
Me: No, you cannot have any of daddy's beer.
Son: Why not?
Me: You know why not.
Son: Because you don't like to share?
Me: Because I don't like to share.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 6, 2018
11. *Cue a hearty round of applause*
Me: Hold my beer.
*opens a second beer*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 26, 2017
12. ThE dAy iS aLrEaDy HaLf DoNe!
What if dads wake up so early on Saturday so it doesn’t feel like morning when they crack open that first beer at 10 AM?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 1, 2018
Cheers to beers!
And remember, posts like these are just like a nice cold one- best shared with a friend!