There is one mini-human living in our house. That one mini-human is full of spirit and shows excitement for everything. He’s inquisitive, busy, strong-willed, and determined.

There is one mini-human living in our house, and it’s going to stay that way.

When my husband and I felt like we were “ready” to have a kid, we were already in our mid-30s. By that time, we decided that we were good with having just one. I can assure you we were both singing a different tune ten years earlier when we first talked about having kids together, as we always thought we’d have at least two. However, as time passed and we got older, we realized that we only had the energy for one, and as it turned out, we were correct. Our “just one” child is far from “just.”

Being pregnant was not enjoyable for me. I was riddled with all kinds of issues from all-day morning sickness to acid-reflux to sciatica. On top of that, I could have sworn that I had the next world-famous martial artist growing inside of me. 

I was (and still am) sure I never wanted to be pregnant again, so when I was asked about having another child before my first was even born, I thought, why would I ever want to do this again?

The multiple-child advocates, acquaintances and strangers who clearly didn’t know me very well, were adamant about convincing me to keep reproducing. Why?

One of these said acquaintances told me while I was pregnant that I should have another kid because I look good pregnant. Let’s think on that for a minute, shall we? Does she mean that I look bad when I’m not pregnant? How is looking good pregnant a good reason to have more children? I’m only pregnant for ten months! What happens after that? Do I keep getting pregnant so I can keep looking good? I can assure you that that is not something I am prepared to do. And while I’m sure the woman who said this had good intentions, it did not convince me otherwise.

I’ve been told we should have another kid because having one kid can be lonely for said kid. While I admit that I do feel bad sometimes because my son doesn’t have a sibling to play with, I don’t think it’s a good enough reason for us to have another child. Our son has friends and cousins. He goes to daycare. We play with him and our families play with him. Yes, a sibling would make things a bit easier on us because our son could play “catch-you” with them and we could have a time out. However, when the child is older, do we tell them that our decision to have him or her was made so that we didn’t have to play as much with their older sibling? I don’t think so.

Some other reasons we were given are: you already have all the stuff you need, it’s so much easier the second (and third) time around, having multiple children makes things more entertaining, and finally my favourite, the guilt-trip reason: they’ll regret not having a sibling.

We shrug off all these reasons because, to be frank, they’re silly. I’m not sure why other people feel it is their duty to convince us to keep reproducing when we’ve made it clear we don’t want to. I am also not interested in being guilt-tripped into having more babies from people who aren’t going to be the ones who are caring for them! Why are they so adamant for us to have another child? I know our son is cute, but come on! 

I’ve explained why others think we should have more children. Here is why we politely disagree:

Second runner up: I’m generally an anxious person in my every day life and I’ve lived with anxiety and depression for over twenty years. Having a child has giving me more things to be anxious about. I do not in any way regret my decision to have my son, but I have reached my limit with him.

First runner up: I had postpartum depression. I cried every day for six weeks. The more I cried, the less I wanted my son. I managed to pull through, but there is no way I want to go through that again. The thought of going through PPD again shakes my nerves. Yes, women have had postpartum depression and went on to have more children. I commend these women. But I am not one of them. I know myself and I fear the outcome of going through that again.

Finally, the winning reason: we don’t want another child. That, in itself, should be the only reason we need.

Our son is more than we could ever ask for. He’s entertaining and playful. He’s loveable and sweet. He’s kind and generous. He’s everything I could have ever asked for. For my husband and I, he’s the one.

In the end, we are sure that we are making the right decision for our family by having one child.

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About the Author

Karen Szabo is the mother of a toddler and is certain that 1 is the magical number for her and her husband. After years of searching, she’s found her own identity through writing. What free time she may have is dedicated to jotting ideas down, creating articles, and working on her Blog, www.theantsybutterfly.com. She is a contributor for The Mighty and has written for Sunshine Spoils Milk. Karen can be found on Twitter @AntsyButterfly and Facebook.