I have to admit that I’m a pretty big superhero guy. I love all the classic supes. You got your Superman, your Batman, your Ironman. Hell, even Aquaman was great until they got that Momoa fellar to play the part. Honestly, it doesn’t matter if it’s Marvel or DC, I love it all. The thing I like most about superheroes is that they’re all so pure, and clean cut, and they speak so clearly. So when it was announced that Marvel would be releasing a new movie called Black Panther, I was kinda on the fence.
Something didn’t sit right with me about the character. He lacked all the stereotypical qualities of a hero. I mean, he derived his power from some magic alloy in a hidden city? Kinda unrealistic if you ask me. I was excited when they cast a guy named Chad to play the role, but a little less excited when I found out what other movies he had been in. I mean, he was best known for playing a baseball player named Jackie? What is this, A League of Their Own? Also, I didn’t care much for the fact that Michael Jordan was in it. I’ve always been more of a Larry Bird guy, ya know?
Over the past few years, I’ve caught a lot of flack for not seeing Black Panther. Someone even had the audacity to call me racist. Excuse me, but there was a Chinese fella in Doctor Strange, and I didn’t even use the “O” word to describe him. Also, I’m pretty sure Thanos is gay, so I’d say I’m pretty well versed in cultural diversity.
Well, after the sudden passing of Chadwick Boseman, all these people kept pulling up my old tweets and shaming me for my opinions. I mean, so what that I said “ALL Marvel Movies Matter!” Don’t they? But it got to me. So like any good person would do, I decided to spend time watching the movie I had been criticizing for the past three years.
And, HOLY CRAP! What an amazing movie! Granted, it took me a while to pick up on Boseman’s southern dialect, but after the first 10 minutes or so, I’d say no subtitles are needed. Also, it turns out that it was Michael Jordan’s son, so I guess that was ok (did Larry Bird’s son get an audition? I doubt it). But I loved every second of the movie, especially when Captain America showed up to save the day.
To atone for my past transgressions, I will delete my critical tweets, and formally apologize to all fans of Black Panther, which now includes yours truly. My wife has even agreed to transform her weekly socials with the gals into a formal group that helps all types of people. They’re even changing the name to Women Helping Inspire The Ethnics. You see, we’re committed to making changes. The only thing I ask is that you in turn stop calling me a racist, as it is now clear that I am woke af.