To say that the world right now is a dumpster fire would be an insult to flaming dumpsters. The state of the world currently is more concerning and terrifying than any pile of flaming hot trash could ever even dream of being. From politics to pandemics, even a cursory glance at what’s trending on the news is an exercise in depressing head-shakery that would make even the most social among us want to open the door and wander off into the forest forever.
Living in a society is great, sure, but it’s beginning to feel like society is less social and more “everyone shank each other then post about it on social media.” While there have been great advancements with the advent of technology and civilization, the current state of things makes you want to draft up a quick one-pager outlining your two weeks notice for quitting that shit altogether. Nama-stay far, far away from people. Stop the world, I want off!
Which is why there’s such a pull to the wilderness. Sure, we’ve been coddled to shit by the modern world and probably wouldn’t know a seed from a turd in the woods, but SOLITUDE! NATURE! NO MORE NEWS OR “HEY GIRL” DMs! Sometimes it feels like it would be more pleasant to starve to death in the woods than to read another story about a Trump tweet.
1. Pretty much daily, I guess
ya ever drive through the mountains in the pouring rain and feel suddenly overcome with the urge to pull over on the shoulder, hop the barrier and strip naked while running into the densely wooded forest never to be seen again
— Sweatpants Cher ⚫️ (@House_Feminist) January 1, 2020
2. Well this is good news
Remember, you can disappear in a haunted forest whenever you want. You’re an adult.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) February 7, 2020
3. It’s definitely not just you, sir
Does anyone else get the random urge to go completely off the grid and go live in a cabin in the woods?
Or is that just me?
— Musings of an INFJ (@INFJ_Musings) February 29, 2020
4. Ahh yes, the ultimate form of duck n’ roll
It's a beautiful day to go out to lunch, fake your own death and never be heard from or seen again
— Cats Against Humanity™ (@CatsVsHumanity) January 6, 2020
5. Society is over, it’s all forest dwelling from here on out
Live, Laugh, Love are officially cancelled. Their reign of terror ends now. 2020 is all about Riot, Rage, Return to the Woods
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) February 7, 2020
6. Fuck around like this or stop wasting my time
Might fuck around and disappear into an ancient forest & never be seen again.
— Doth (@DothTheDoth) January 9, 2020
7. Coping strategies are all about what works for you
Cancelling plans is okay. Putting yourself first is okay. Going into the forest and abandoning society is okay. Befriending a pack of wolves and assimilating into their wolf pack is okay. Howling at the moon is okay. Do what you need to do to cope.
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) January 3, 2020
8. 50 bucks converted in bog dollars is truly priceless
Do you ever just wanna, I dunno, sell all your posessions and run away and start a new life with that $50
— Cats Against Humanity™ (@CatsVsHumanity) February 21, 2020
9. I mean, that second thing sounds legit
Today is one of those days that could go either way.
I could have a great, productive day or I could run away and never come back.
— Sooz (@CruisinSoozan) September 25, 2017
10. Spoiler alert – this is gonna happen whether I feel cute or not
Feeling cute, might isolate myself from everyone in my life later idk
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) May 4, 2019
11. You must be some kind of psychopath
12. Eagle minions are THE accessory for 2020
I need to live in a wooded cabin deep in the forest. That’s my ultimate fantasy. I’ll train an eagle to pick up my mail.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) August 14, 2018
13. Aren’t we all, sis
horny 4 solitude
— rosemary donahue (@rosadona) January 18, 2020
Let’s hear it for big forest bitch energy!
Just make sure to slam that share button before you go off-grid entirely. After all, it’s the civilized thing to do!