To all my friends that had kids before me, I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I didn’t understand the reason you were flaky with plans. I’m sorry I didn’t understand your exhaustion. I’m sorry I quit putting in effort after being left hanging so many times. I’m sorry I said my dog gave me the same level of responsibility as children.
Fun fact: pets are nothing like children. They can’t talk back, whine, or ask to watch “Paw Patrol” on TV so much that you think your head might explode.
Now, let’s toss a freaking GLOBAL PANDEMIC into the arena. It’s basically the whipped cream on top of the chocolate pie from The Help.
Y’all. Moms are struggling right now. If you know a mom with little ones at home, please reach out to her. She’s probably hanging on by only a thread.
Kids are the absolute best and biggest blessing available in this scary world, and I would go to the ends of the Earth for mine without question; but they’re also exhausting.
No one tells you that having children gives you hemorrhoids. Maybe you got them during pregnancy, maybe you got them during delivery, or maybe you got them when you didn’t take stool softeners after giving birth (yes, that’s a thing.). But no matter how you got them, they end up being the BFFL (butt friend for life) you never asked for.
Spit-up. Oh my lanta, the spit up. I smell like curdled milk. The baby smells like vomit. Nothing takes the scent out of my laundry room. It’s enough to drive even the most levelheaded person insane.
Speaking of laundry. I have about 12 loads that need to be folded right now. My brain is lost somewhere in the laundry void that is my house.
If I have to cook one more time I might internally combust. WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS HUNGRY?!
Have I left the house lately? Have I done anything for myself? Negative. I don’t think I’ve visited the outside world in four months. My hair hasn’t been brushed in three. Send help.
If my husband is two minutes late getting home from work, then my soul leaves my body exactly two minutes before he walks in the door.
I think I left my sanity at the hospital. Has anyone seen it? Maybe check the labor and delivery floor.
Poop. All the poop. Dog poop, baby poop, toddler poop. I don’t even have time to poop myself because I’m dealing with everyone else’s crap. Literally.
When was the last time I drank water? Well, my oldest is almost three now, so, probably about three years ago. I guess that’s why I have a headache.
Maybe I can just get a caffeine IV. Is that a thing? Let’s make it a thing.
My children are the sun that my world revolves around. I love them more than there are words in the world.
Being a mama is no joke. It’s tiring, frustrating, all consuming, rewarding, and mind-boggling. It is all the things, all the time. I wouldn’t trade it for anything at all.
But my goodness, I need a break.
And sleep. I need sleep.
About the Author
Jordan is a wife & mama just winging this whole thing one day at a time. I’m a SAHM with a love for words, travel, the South, family, Jesus, and a relaxing swing on the front porch. I try to find humor in all things and keep motherhood real – the good and the bad. You can find me over at www.jordanmorgan.com or on Facebook @jordanmorganwriter.