Of all the strange things I’ve seen and had to MacGyver my way out of — and trust me, there have been plenty — I can confidently say a slug in the water reservoir of my iron is NOT one of them. But it WAS someone else’s cross to bear.
Posted on the Animals in Predicaments Facebook page, this cry for help yielded anything but helpful advice.
Instead of a barrage of practical advice for ridding the iron of its unwelcome tenant, the image drew out everyone’s inner comedian, and let’s just say, some of these people have a future moonlighting as stand-ups.
Here are just a few of our favorite responses to this poor soul’s predicament:
Tell him you’re developing feelings for him. That’s how I get my guys to leave.
Have you tried not body shaming the slug into thinking it’s too big? Perhaps with a bit of self confidence it might come out on its own without ridicule.
This is easy, you pour in some rice, maybe some peas, stock cube, SALT, bring it to the boil and hey presto a Slug Risotto you can’t eat ’cause it’s in your iron.
I asked the wife what she does when we get slugs stuck in the iron and without hesitation she said, “same thing I always do when I have a fat jerk i need to get rid of. Poison them in their sleep.” She stared at me long enough for things to get awkward.
This is the result of either a slug that was suffering an iron deficiency or an iron with a slug deficiency. Either way, problem solved.
Last time this happened to me… I lit up a blunt and started blowing the smoke in there, then I grabbed a piece of lettuce and set it next to it. As soon as he got the Munchies, he slid right out. Good luck!
I’ve seen this before on Always Sunny. Send in a bird. When the bird fails to come out, send in a cat. If the cat fails to solve the problem, you’ll need a dog.
You’re gonna need a length of fishing line, a toothpick, an ice cube and a bottle of superglue.
-Put the superglue on ice to chill.
-tie the toothpick to the end of the fishing line.
-sniff the glue
-become friends with the slug and forget all about the rest.
What if we are all just hypothetical slugs, inside a metaphorical iron, hoping one day Internet advice will free us from the tedium of existence within our plastic world?
Well this is pretty IRONic.
-Have you tried asking the slug to come out? -Yes, but it now has a tiny moustache and listens lady gaga. Still in the iron.
Okay here’s what you do. Slugs love leaves. Any will do. You get some leaves, roll it around a bendy twig, put some caramelised sugar on those leaves, insert it into your iron and if you look closely, you can see that I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
No word on whether the owner of the iron ever got the slug out, but judging by the advice, I’m guessing not. Let’s just hope the slug had enough decency to at least chip in for pizza from time to time.
To check out the full thread of hilarious commentary, see below. I promise you won’t regret it.