By Karen Johnson of the21stcenturysahm.com
Do you struggle to appreciate the beauty of satire? Consider taking our course — Satire for Dummies 101! The following is a recording of last week’s opening session, led by the very charismatic Professor Snape:
Hello, everyone.
You are here today because you’ve been offended by satire at some point in your life. And I find that sad, frankly. So I want to help. The first step is to diagnose your reason for the offense. I believe that each of you falls into at least one of three categories, so I am going to first divide you into groups. This way you will be alongside fellow group members who suffer from similar afflictions as your own.
Group 1 will meet over here. All of you plagued with ass-stickery, meaning there is a stick up your ass that prevents you from appreciating the beauty that is satire, please come to this corner of the room.
Group 2 will congregate in the back of the room. This is where anyone who was not hugged as a child and therefore has no appreciation for humor should sit.
And finally, Group 3 will be up front, for obvious reasons. This group is for all the sanctimommies who have joined us today. (But before we go on, we would like to instruct the sanctimommies to also complete a few ass-stickery assignments, as we do believe you suffer from that condition as well.)
Okay, now that everyone has moved to their appropriate seats, let’s begin. You all received a Satire for Dummies workbook upon entry. Please turn to page 1. Our first exercise today will involve vocabulary. On page 1, you will see a list of words: humor, intelligence, and common sense. For many of you, these are new terms, which is why it is important to start here.
Can everyone find the word “humor”? Good. Please show me you can find it by putting your finger on it. I know many of you have a hard time finding it in your lives, so this is a good way to practice—by finding it on paper. Everyone see it? Good job! To help you remember this new term, let’s all put a smiley face inside the o in humor. This will help remind us that humor makes people smile and laugh, bringing general merriment into their lives.
The next vocabulary word is intelligence. This one is tricky, I know. Basically, what I am saying here is that you need to use your brain to understand satire. Satire is not fart-joke funny; instead, it requires you to read and sometimes think.
To help you remember to use your brain as you read satire, let’s go on to the final vocabulary term: common sense. Intelligence and common sense are linked together, and only when used properly can the humor be appreciated. So what can we draw above intelligence and common sense to help us remember what they mean? How about a light bulb! Super job, everyone.
So class, it is time to try out our intelligence and common sense to find and appreciate some clever humor. On the next page of your Satire for Dummies workbook, you’ll find some examples of satirical topics you may hear about. Let’s look them over together and see if we can use our brains to determine if they are funny! Okay? Let’s do it!
Example 1: Donald Trump pays women voters in diamonds to vote for him.
Think, now. Would this be something that really happens in real life? Or is this a humorous take on Donald Trump’s obnoxious wealth and lack of respect for women? Yes, you in the back, from the Humorless Group? Dan, is it? Correct! Right-O, Dan! This is satire, meaning Donald Trump is not actually paying women in diamonds to vote for him. It is supposed to be funny. Yes! I hear a few chuckles! That means we are getting somewhere!
Example 2: Working moms raise future degenerates with no will to live.
Okay, let’s use our intelligence and common sense once more. Do you think that maybe the author is poking fun at others who criticize working moms? Or is she actually saying working moms will raises kids who are total losers? Shut the fuck up, sanctimommy, and put your damn hand down. Of course the answer is option #1.
Great job so far, everyone. I think you are all getting the hang of this. I am going to assign some homework for each group so you can continue to practice the concepts we learned today at home.
Group 1, in furthering our efforts to cure your ass-stickery, I request that you stand as much as possible and look at your world. Try to take in images, people, and beliefs that might be different from your own. It is important that you remain standing while doing so, for the hope is that as you see differences, the stick may actually start to come out of your butt.
Group 2, those of you who were not hugged as children, your homework is to hug at least one person a day until next week’s session. Also, I ask that you practice laughing out loud, even if it is forced. It will be good for you to hear this sound in order to acclimate your ears to it.
And finally, Group 3, our sanctimommies: As your instructor, I’m asking you to interact with at least one failure of a mom for five minutes. Then I’d like you to discuss this experience with us next week. How did you feel? Did you feel ashamed? Did you have to go home and shower? Did your kids have to see it? Be honest. Because that is how we grow.
See you next Tuesday! Sanctimommies, it’s your turn to bring the donuts and coffee.
Sign up today for Satire for Dummies 101. Only a few spots left!
Related Post: How Donald Trump Won the Presidential Election
*****
About the Author
Karen Johnson is a freelance writer and editor. Her blog the21stcenturysahm.com is a cathartic mix of sarcasm, angry Mama Bear rants, and heartfelt confessions about how she’s screwing up her kids. Karen is a contributing writer in two anthologies — Lose the Cape: Never Will I Ever (and then I had kids!) and What Does It Mean to Be White in America? She has also had work featured on Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, Sammiches and Psych Meds, and Good Housekeeping, among others. Follow Karen on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.