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Police Respond to Brawl Prompted By Store-Bought Birthday Cake

Police Respond to Brawl Started over Store-Bought Birthday Cake

By Anne Gunn

CARLSBAD, CA– On Saturday at around 3:30 p.m., police responded to calls reporting a brawl going on at a community park between a group of moms at a child’s birthday party.

According to Cynthia Miller, the hostess of her son Tucker’s fourth birthday party, the brawl was started by Mason’s mom, Rebecca Brown.

Miller explained, “When I brought out his birthday cake, Rebecca remarked, ‘It’s so nice you feel comfortable buying a cake from Walmart. I spent over six hours working on a cake I saw on Pinterest for Mason’s birthday.’”

Miller continued, “I told her that of course the cake wasn’t from Walmart; it was from a local bakery. But I was interrupted by Brody’s mom [Lydia Johnson] who muttered something about how Rebecca could only pull off that homemade crap because she is a stay-at-home mom. That was when things started to get ugly,” Miller explained.

Onlookers reported that Brown started into a monologue about how she shouldn’t be judged for caring more about her children than the working moms who put their careers first. Johnson then reportedly asked Brown, “If you are such a good mom, why is your kid eating sand right now? Is it because he can’t tell it apart from the organic, gluten-free crap you are always bringing to bake sales?”

“At that point, it was on,” said a party-goer who wasn’t in the fight yet still prefers to remain anonymous to avoid being the subject of vague, judgmental Facebook comments. “All the moms started fighting. It was like they were lashing out from years of dealing with passive aggressive comments criticizing each other’s parenting styles.”

The police were called to the scene by the Benson family who had rightfully reserved the pavilion for a family reunion that day.

Parks and Recreation spokesman Randy Townsend said, “Mrs. Miller didn’t reserve the park or pay a deposit according to the park rules. The Benson family reserved and paid the deposit for the pavilion weeks ago. I told Mrs. Miller that when she called the night before, but she probably forgot because she’s a working mom and can’t pay attention to important details like my stay-at-home wife does.”

Furthermore, Townsend is requesting Miller cover the costs for a power washing service because “that Walmart cake was knocked over during the brawl and the blue dye from the icing stained the concrete and picnic tables in the pavilion.”

When contacted for comment, Miller stated, “I definitely didn’t buy that cake at Walmart.”

So far no charges have been pressed, but sources expect the next PTA meeting to be very awkward.

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About the Author

Anne Gunn lives in Myrtle Beach, SC with her husband, baby boy and yappy dog. In the free time she doesn’t have she likes to sleep, run, work on her zombie novel, and catch up on her Netflix shows.