I have found myself in my fair share of embarrassing scenarios in this life:
I fell off a chair in front of my entire classroom of students after it crumbled beneath my pitiful body.
I tripped and fell UP a flight of stairs in middle school.
While reading the stage directions of The Crucible to my students, I accidentally said, with vigor and enthusiasm, “Abigail SHITS” instead of “Abigail SITS.”
I almost crapped my pants on an airplane.
I almost crapped my pants in an emergency room.
I gave birth.
Among other things.
But despite all this — all the horrendously mortifying situations of which I have been the unwitting center of attention — none is as bad as the one a Texas City Mayor found himself in.
He got up from a public meeting (you know, one of those they broadcast on the local TV channel because there’s some poor sap out there who actually, legitimately likes to watch?) to use the bathroom. Except he forgot to turn his microphone off and, well, let’s just say now he and the sound of his golden shower are all over the YouTube.
Side note: The best part (read: the worst part for him) is that the Mayor Pro Tem can’t stop laughing. But she tries. She really, really tries to push forward with what I can only sort of gather is a very serious topic pertaining to diseases through her crippling snickering. A for effort there, lady. A for effort.
At least he wasn’t pooping, right? Silver linings.