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Mom Sentenced to 12 Months of Pinterest After Lame Birthday Party

By Heather Burnett of Word to Your Mother

A Mississippi mother has been sentenced to 12 months of Pinterest after it was found that she neglected to give her 9-year-old daughter an Epic Birthday Party.

Prosecutors say the mother, 41-year-old Heather Burnett, thought celebrating the child’s birthday with close family would be sufficient, as she is not currently suffering from mom guilt or any other common over-the-top party motivating emotional states.

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Burnett was turned into the authorities by a nosey Facebook stalker who noticed there were no birthday party pictures posted on her timeline.

“These type of things just don’t happen here,” said the local woman, who chose to hide her identity. “I mean, you hear about it, but you don’t think it can happen so close to you.”

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The child appears to be in stable condition and currently does not show any visible signs of abandonment, although she does request “Fro-Yo” on a regular basis.

“Clearly, this family is off trend,” reported Lisa Wallis, of PartyPlaningInc. “Current birthday celebrations for children her age include an all-encompassing theme, complete with custom invitations, activities (like face-painting, hair braiding, or even a petting zoo, depending on her style), swag bags, fully catered meals, sometimes character appearances, and ice sculptures. Also #hashtags. The moms, I mean kids, really enjoy planning these parties. The focus is all on the mom, whoopsie, I mean birthday girl.”

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We asked child play expert Jan Perkins for her take on the Burnett party foul.“I have only seen a few cases. These days parents go overboard on everything, so it’s hard to determine the outcome for this child. ‘LK’ now knows the world does not revolve around her. She could have to make friends based on her personality and learn to socialize in traditional settings, such as school and extracurricular activities. I just don’t know. I. Just. Don’t. Know.”

As for the mother, she will serve her time in the home, where the judge has issued a crafting table be installed post haste. For the next 12 months, Mrs. Burnett will be forced to complete various DIY projects from Pinterest, submitted by overbearing mothers who spend thousands on birthday parties.

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About the Author

Heather is a stay-at-home mom of 3 suffering from STS (small town syndrome). She enjoys reality TV and hates to clean. When she’s not trying to locate the other white sock, you can find her on Twitter or Facebook attempting to regain her sanity. She is the creative genius behind Word to your Mother where she blogs because its much cheaper than therapy.