MockMom

Local Woman Arrested After Bringing Pot Brownies to PTO Meeting

By Lauren Pathak of untameshrew.com

It seemed like any other Monday night when parents begrudgingly gathered in the gymnasium of Oakwood High School for yet another PTO meeting, and no one gave it a second thought when the self-described “hippie mom” Joelle Hicks volunteered to bring snacks. After all, it’s not like anyone else wanted to anyway.

“At first I thought everything was fine. No one was challenging my ideas; really, it was going great,” said PTO president and admitted pearl-clutcher Claire Fourney. “Then I noticed that some of the parents were just staring at their hands in amazement and finally, one of the dads laughed. That’s when I knew something was definitely wrong.”

Fourney knew something had to be done before the PTO devolved into a bastion of sin and moral turpitude.

“To be honest, it took me a bit to realize that people had ingested marijuana brownies; then I remembered that time I had accidentally tried them in college,” she said, obviously shaken. Claire then excused herself to the restroom where she called the police, but with the meeting almost over, she knew she had to do something to keep the parents there until authorities arrived.

In what she described as a stroke of genius, Claire decided to stall by going over every mundane detail of the upcoming bake sale again. “Initially, I felt discouraged because I heard a lot of groans, and one woman even pantomimed hanging herself, but I knew I had to do the right thing,” she added with a self-righteous smirk.

Once the police arrived, they confiscated the remaining brownies and took Ms. Hicks into custody.

In related news, the other parents that attended the PTO meeting have started a GoFundMe to help Ms. Hicks pay her legal fees for what most people have described as a victimless crime and the only enjoyable PTO meeting EVER.

The school staff even started a ‘Justice for Joelle’ letter-writing campaign spearheaded by the art teacher.

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About the Author

Lauren Pathak is a mom and blogger. If you’d like to see what crazy shenanigans she’s currently up to check out http://www.untameshrew.com or fb.me/untameshrew.