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Local PTA Meeting Breaks Into Fight Over Box Tops

PTA Meeting Breaks Into Fight Over Which Box Tops Suck Most

By Melanie Madamba of TheNotsoSuperMom

What started as a calm, businesslike PTA meeting took a terrible turn last Wednesday evening at the Sherman P. Woods Elementary school in South Lower East Township.

The details haven’t been fully confirmed, but it appears there was some sort of incident between two of the members regarding the collection of Box Tops for Education and Campbell’s Labels for Education. One witness said that two ladies were giving their counts on the collections when an argument broke out between them.

The following account has been culled together from multiple witness statements:

Darby Foster stood up to announce the Box Tops count for last semester when she allegedly joked that her fingers “just about fell off” from counting all the tiny box tops cutouts. Tanya Morrell then made a statement that she (Darby) didn’t know what real pain was until she tried to sort and count the Campbell’s Labels for Education.

Mrs. Foster laughed and said, “Hashtag first world problems, huh?” To which Mrs. Morrell’s confused response was, “What did you just call me?” Mrs. Foster nervously explained that she simply meant that a little frustration over this volunteer work wasn’t worth getting too upset about.

Mrs. Morrell then stood up and began shouting, “Oh, you have it SO EASY! A box top is a box top is a box top! At least they all look the same! There are, like, 57 different types of labels that I have to count! None of them looks the same and some are different values! Ten points! Five points! One point! These loony executives at Campbell’s need to get a clue!

“And whatever idiots designed those labels should be forced to count them until their fingers BLEED!” She then screamed, “Those fucking morons always put the label right where the goddamn glue is! If I EVER had just two labels that didn’t stick together out of a thousand, it was a freakin’ miracle!”

Mrs. Foster tried to calm Mrs. Morrell down by stating that “it’s not a contest,” but that statement seemed to make Mrs. Morrell angrier. Mrs. Foster chuckled nervously and said that she had been joking and that she was sorry she said anything at all. She also volunteered to trade jobs with Mrs. Morrell for the remainder of the year.

Mrs. Morrell apparently got offended by that suggestion and screamed, “I’m sure you think you could do it better you just do everything better than me, don’t you?!” She then began pushing Mrs. Foster, screaming in her face and shouting random things about breastfeeding and cloth diapers and non-GMO organic classroom snacks.

At this point the PTA president, Shelly McNamara, dialed 9-1-1 while the organization’s Treasurer, Jen Harper, pulled Mrs. Morrell back and did her best to subdue her until authorities arrived.

The local police arrived shortly thereafter and escorted the two women out of the building. Both women have been asked not to return to school property until the matter has been settled personally or until any potential legal action is settled.

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About the Author

Melanie Madamba is The NotsoSuperMom: forever nerd, mother of three, and coffee addict. Not to be confused with a Super Mom or anyone else who seems to have it together. She writes to escape the laundry and to pretend someone is listening to her. If you are trying to avoid your laundry, you can kill some time checking her out on Facebook, Pinterest, or the Twitter.