List of Honest Slogans for Kids’ Shirts

By Lauren Morris of

“I’m a result of the pressure put on my parents to fit within societal norms.”

“My birth story includes an episiotomy.”

“We can’t go on vacations for the next six years because of our broken health care system.”

“My parents never imagined themselves covered in vomit and poop but this is our life now.”

“My existence created even more stress, go figure?!”

“Adults aren’t expected to sit for 6 hours straight or have to ask to go to the bathroom or to get a drink of water at their jobs and that’s exactly what kids are told to do every day from Sept-June. Yet somehow, this is my fault and I should be medicated.”

“I didn’t give permission to my family to put my face all over social media.”

“My screen time is 4-7 hours per day and it’s not even educational!”

“I definitely don’t understand how good I have it, nor will I until I am grown up and on my own so there’s no point in you lecturing about it all the time.”

“You are definitely screwing me up.”


About the Author

Lauren Morris is the Director of AdLib Theatre where she performs improv comedy weekly. She has been published in places such as Points in Case, Robot Butt, The Belladonna Comedy, MockMom, Weekly Humorist, and Slackjaw. You can learn more at