By Sam Palmer of Modern Day Hippie
Dealing with a tantruming toddler is as high on my list of favorite things to do as my Pap smear is. Not a good time. At all.
Due to the unpredictable nature of these feisty little people it’s not always easy to avoid a flailing meltdown (theirs, not yours). As parents we work very hard to make sure we are dealing with our toddlers as effectively as possible, especially when they’re mid-tantrum.
Sometimes, however, exhaustion gets the better of us and we will do ANYTHING we can to avoid taking a Dr.Iknoweverythingaboutkidsbutdontactuallyhaveany’s approach to emotional outbursts (again, theirs, not yours). As soon as we detect the smallest indication that our precious angel is about to let loose we take the following steps to ensure we don’t have to deal with a full-fledged tantrum:
Get in your zone. You’re gonna need to mentally prepare for this. Fight your parental instincts of proper discipline. Remember, this is for your sanity.
Open a bottle of wine. It’s not easy to avoid a toddler’s psychotic state of tantrum, so if you’re unsuccessful in your attempts at least you’ll be ready.
Oppose nothing. Your toddler wants you to jump up and down? You jump. Your toddler wants you to be a “poo head”? You’re a poo head. Arguing will get you nowhere. You are now their bitch.
Declare defeat. Straight up tell your toddler that they’ve won. They can smell fear. They already KNOW they’ve won, but they want to hear it straight from you.
Look away from their eyes. Do not engage in eye contact. A hostile toddler will take this as a sign of aggression. You’re trying to avoid a throw-down, not instigate one.
Utilize every strategy you know. Pull out the candy. Turn on the Paw Patrol. Buy them a puppy. Do whatever you have to do to avoid an impending toddler outburst.
Corral backup. No matter what you do it may be wrong according to your toddler. Have a back-up team of at least eight. In theory, at least one person should be able to come up with something to keep them happy.
Kiss your pride bye-bye. Understand that you have lost the battle to a tiny dictator. Own it. Don’t worry, there are a lot of us.
Following this simple G.O.O.D.L.U.C.K. strategy should lead you to be successful in your efforts to avoid a toddler tantrum. Good luck to you, good people.
About the Author
Sam Palmer has a passion for organic wine, profanities, and being a Mom. She has 4 beautiful daughters, a dog, and that guy she lives with. They live on the West Coast of British Columbia amongst other Birkenstock wearing, home brew guzzling folk. You can find more from her on her website: www.moderndayhippie.ca, Facebook, and Instagram.