10 Funny New Year’s Tweets to Drag You Through the Last of 2019

If you though once Christmas was over you’d be past the chore of interacting with others and dealing with unrealistic expectations, then boy are you wrong! Did you forget about New Year’s? The holiday where we weep about the shit we didn’t accomplish the year before and set lofty ambitions for the upcoming year to hang above our necks?

New Year’s is fun and all, but man is it a whole lot of bullshit. Reflection? Ew. Goal setting? Come on. Staying up late. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

Once you have kids, New Year’s becomes painfully just like any other day where you struggle to stay up late and socialize with people. When you’re young, it’s fun for the sparkles, the party atmosphere, and the fresh new beginnings. Hard to find those things when you’re knee-deep in laundry and dead intentions.

That being said, this year is the turn of a whole decade. And surely you have something to show for the last 10 years, right? Hello?

I have eye bags and a deep thirst for alone time.

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1. I feel like this is somehow a setup for failure

2. Seasons change, and adulthood is the wildest season of them all

3. I’m not sure if there’s really any other way to begin

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4. And believe me, they have A LOT that needs fixing

5. Men don’t seem to understand that sometimes you need to string up the titties for a special occasion

6. Gosh, the options are endless

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7. Maybe the goal is really to end up as a missing person?

8. Not to brag but I like to keep things very consistent

9. *pots and pans clinking wildly* OH IS IT NEW YEAR’S I HADN’T NOTICED

10. FINALLY an attainable goal

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What are your feelings on New Year’s? Fun and joyous occasion, or overblown annual let-down?

Whatever your stance, have a safe and happy New Year! Here’s to another year of unpredictable fuckery!