• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Sammiches & Psych Meds

Parenting, lifestyle, news commentary, and humor website.

  • Home
  • About
    • Disclaimer
    • Privacy Policy
  • As Seen On
  • Buy the Books!
  • MockMom
  • News/Trending
  • SPM
    • Beauty/Fashion
    • Education
    • Entertainment
    • Health
    • Humor
    • Life
    • Meme Roundups
    • Parenting
    • Politics/Community
    • Quizzes
    • Sex and Relationships
    • Special Needs
    • Tweet Roundups
  • Work With Us
  • Write for Us
  • What’s Hot

Connect With Us!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

10 Funny New Year’s Tweets to Drag You Through the Last of 2019

December 19, 2019 By Mandi Em

If you though once Christmas was over you’d be past the chore of interacting with others and dealing with unrealistic expectations, then boy are you wrong! Did you forget about New Year’s? The holiday where we weep about the shit we didn’t accomplish the year before and set lofty ambitions for the upcoming year to hang above our necks?

New Year’s is fun and all, but man is it a whole lot of bullshit. Reflection? Ew. Goal setting? Come on. Staying up late. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

Once you have kids, New Year’s becomes painfully just like any other day where you struggle to stay up late and socialize with people. When you’re young, it’s fun for the sparkles, the party atmosphere, and the fresh new beginnings. Hard to find those things when you’re knee-deep in laundry and dead intentions.

That being said, this year is the turn of a whole decade. And surely you have something to show for the last 10 years, right? Hello?

I have eye bags and a deep thirst for alone time.

1. I feel like this is somehow a setup for failure

Write down my New Years resolutions? Um… I can’t even stick to a grocery list.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 29, 2017

2. Seasons change, and adulthood is the wildest season of them all

I just cleaned my washer so I can start the new year without this year’s soap grime and somewhere 16yo me is weeping.

— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) December 28, 2017

3. I’m not sure if there’s really any other way to begin

Everyone's New Year's resolution to "Eat healthier" always starts with them eating the rest of the crap in the house so it's not around.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 16, 2019

4. And believe me, they have A LOT that needs fixing

Trying to come up with a New Year's resolution, but so far I can only think of things my kids need to work on.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) December 29, 2015

5. Men don’t seem to understand that sometimes you need to string up the titties for a special occasion

“Who cares what you wear. It’s a neighborhood New Year’s Eve party. These are the same people that see you running the trash out in PJs and titties swinging.” – My husband’s NYE fashion advice.

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) December 30, 2017

6. Gosh, the options are endless

Yeah, I don't know what I'll do for New Year's Eve yet.

I'm deciding between dozing on the couch in PJs or in spit-up stained clothes.

— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) December 31, 2015

7. Maybe the goal is really to end up as a missing person?

Wife: Your resolution this year should be to listen to me better.

Me: Sure, I’d love eggs.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 1, 2019

8. Not to brag but I like to keep things very consistent

new years is close so i just want u to know i didn’t accomplish shit this year so don’t even try to ask

— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) December 16, 2019

9. *pots and pans clinking wildly* OH IS IT NEW YEAR’S I HADN’T NOTICED

New Year's Eve is a special occasion when parents get to stay up late with little noisemakers all over the place.

Also known as just another day.

— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) December 28, 2017

10. FINALLY an attainable goal

https://twitter.com/House_Feminist/status/1083012903580520448

What are your feelings on New Year’s? Fun and joyous occasion, or overblown annual let-down?

Whatever your stance, have a safe and happy New Year! Here’s to another year of unpredictable fuckery!

Get Weekly Updates!

Sign up today for free and be the first to get notified of new posts just once per week.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Tweets Tagged With: funny new year's tweets, holidays, new year's eve parents, new year's tweets, newyears, tweets, twitter

FROM SITES WE LOVE

Primary Sidebar

BUY THE BOOKS!

From Sites We Love

Footer

Check the Vaults

Copyright © 2021 SPM Writing and Consulting, LLC · All Rights Reserved · Don't steal our stuff. We'll find you, and it'll hurt. We're not even kidding. Also, some posts may contain affiliate links, meaning we'll make fractions of pennies if you buy anything from them. Ballin'! See site Disclaimer in the About section for additional details. · Log in